Little Monster
by kiwifruitt
Summary: A failed transformation turns Eren into his six-year-old self, with his memories almost completely gone. The Military Police saw it as a golden opportunity to rid the titan-shifter once and for all. (now Rated M for happenings in chapter 11)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: What up, friends? Just a little warning that this story here is extremely roughly put together in the deep depth of night when my eyelids are pretty much superglued together and I've got my science notes on the other side of the screen trying to cram for my exam. I never proofread, which is a lovely excuse for the fact that my writing is possibly riddled with mistakes and terrible grammar and that y'all lovely people are gonna have to deal with it. I apologise in advance. **

**Aaand since I have no clue on where the hell this story's gonna go let us just take a moment to pray that it will be a good ol' happy ending and i won't have to cry while writing it because that will blur my vision and i won't be able to see my science notes anymore. **

**Enough rambling, enjoy! ^.^**

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><p>There was a blinding flash, and the hiss of steam filled my ears and shrouded my vision.<p>

In the sudden heat, I faintly realized that there was a single thought that lingered momentarily in my mind before fading away:

_Dammit. I fucked up. _

Unfortunately, I didn't really have a clue on what that meant.

As the steam swirled and faded away, so did the heat, and I was left standing in miserable, damp coldness.

Where was I?

In the dim light, I could only hear the crawling of rats and spiders, and see that all around me was a spherical wall of man-made rock, surrounding me in a seemingly endless spiral.

I looked upwards.

From where I stood, I could see a small circular patch of sky from a distant opening up above – clear and brilliantly blue.

"Eren? You okay in there?" A woman's voice echoed through, and I tilted my head further backwards to see a small blotch of black against the bright blue of the sky.

Who is that?

"Ohhhhh my god, guys! Hurry, get him up!" The voice shouted excitedly and then suddenly more blots of black disrupted the view of the sky, bobbing around the edges of the circular opening.

A shadow of an arm reached out and then something long was descending rapidly towards me. I flinched and took a step away as a rope was whipped down onto one side of the wall, swaying slightly side to side. There was a voice from above telling me to grab onto it, so although I had no clue what was going on, I did as I was told and cautiously grabbed onto the rope with both hands. Soon I felt the rope being pulled upwards, and I looked down to see the patch of ground I was previously standing on get smaller and smaller. I heard the soft thunks as the huge leather boots on my feet slipped off and dropped back down onto the ground.

The daylight was blinding when I was finally out of what now appeared to be a well, and I had to squint and shield my eyes to look around. Unfamiliar faces surrounded me, all peering at me with surprised expressions.

Except for one overly excited woman with glasses that kept skipping around and jumping and then bounded over to me.

"Eren! It's still you isn't it?" She spoke fast, and I was forced to nod violently as she grabbed my shoulders excitedly and shook me around. "Oh my god, you're tiny!"

I am?

I looked down to see my body, and found it was the same as usual. Same size, same everything except the clothes, which seemed a lot too big for me.

Weird.

The woman with glasses continued to squeal on about something, I realized, and I tuned in just in time to hear her squawking about how 'little Eren was a complete cutie' and how 'she had to show Levi'.

What the hell was she talking about?

And suddenly the woman had a very tight grasp on my arm and was dragging me towards a large castle-like building, still talking enthusiastically. "I have no idea what happened, but I gotta show this to Levi! Do you remember who he is? Actually do you remember who anyone is? Do you still have the mind of your fifteen year- old self? How old are you now anyway? If you don't remember, well then I'm Hanji, nice to meet you! I would just love to experiment with you; this is _sooo_ interesting! You know how you…"

Well, she likes to talk, doesn't she?

Filtering Hanji's ecstatic blubbering out of my hearing, I looked around at the inside of the castle. It was impeccably clean, I realized, and the walls and floor almost seemed to sparkle in its ridiculously dust-free state. I felt a stab of guilt as I looked down to see my bare feet leaving small tracks of dirt on the gleaming floor. How does concrete even gleam anyway?

"We're here!" Hanji announced, and she burst through a wooden door with an excessively polished golden doorknob, calling 'Levi' in a singsong voice.

From behind her back, I could just see a grumpy man staring rather grudgingly at some pieces of paper piled on his desk, a pen held lazily in his left hand.

Wait, is he…?

"Levi! Look look!" Without warning, Hanji shoved me roughly into the room, her hand digging into my back. I stumbled in, almost losing my balance and face planting onto the spotless floor.

"It's Eren! Look how adorable he is!" She shouted, and I straightened up as the man at the desk flicked his eyes away from his documents to gaze coldly towards me. An agonizing second of silence passed, and then another before his eyes slid up to Hanji's smiling face. "Hanji." He growled, pushing out of his chair, "What. Did. You. Do?"

"Ahh, that. I don't know! He was going to turn into a titan and then poof! Ta-daaa!" She unexpectedly swept me clean off my feet and squeezed me close to her body to squish her face against my cheek. I don't even try to escape her clutches. "But who cares? He's the cutest creature I've seen since Bean and Sawney-"

She shut up abruptly when she noticed Levi glaring at her with the scariest look I had ever seen in my whole entire life. I froze up too when his glare slid down to meet my eyes, boring into me with cold intensity.

"Go and find out how it happened, shitty glasses, before Erwin comes in and blames me for it. You can leave the fucking brat here for the time being. Leave." I felt Hanji pause and could almost hear her pouting before reluctantly setting me back down onto the ground. She patted me on the shoulder with a stage whispered "I'll see you later!" before I heard her spin on her heels and her footsteps fade away down the corridor.

I turned to face the man.

He was leaning against his desk, looking down at me in an extremely superior manner. I thought I knew his face, but now I wasn't so sure.

"Brat. How old are you?" He asked unexpectedly, and I look up at him.

"Six." I said in an embarrassingly quiet voice, and when he continued to glare down at me I flicked my eyes to the gleaming floor. "S-sir." I added.

"Tch. And you really don't remember what you did before you came here? Did you have any remaining thoughts or anything?"

What I did before? Remaining thoughts?

"Well," I started awkwardly, "I-ah…there were some um, weird thoughts in my mind for a bit when I realized I was in that well, but I'm not sure why it was there or what it means." He kept glaring down at me so I stuttered, "I-I think it was something like 'I fucked up'."

The glower he gave me made me decide that I probably shouldn't ever open my mouth ever again.

But then I heard the tiniest of chuckles, and I looked back up to see a slight smile on his lips, probably as rare a sight as the rate of survival outside of the walls.

"Sound like your fifteen-year-old self stuffed up. Useless, aren't you?"

I found myself whimpering a weak apology before I could stop myself. I still didn't understand what he meant but at least now I knew he really did not enjoy my presence. Great.

"Um, excuse me." He glances down at me again. "Are you Lance corporal Levi?"

For a moment, his eyebrows twitch up and surprise is written in his eyes before it disappears completely. "How do you know?"

"I, uh, see you sometimes before and after your expeditions. I want to be like you when I grow up! I want to join the Scouting Legion!"

That was a rather embarrassing thing to say, I realized, but this realization always came after the words had already left my mouth. And just when I met the man I so worshipped and aspired to be like.

But rather than a glare, I received a soft expression- a glimmer of a smile.

"Is that right." He said quietly, looking at me almost sadly. "Well, maybe you just will."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Your reviews are making me smile, guys. Thanks heaps!**

**This fic was supposed to be all fluffy and nice but I feel like it's going in a very wrong direction...**

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><p>"Aww he's adorable! Is he really Eren?" Petra exclaimed, and I winced as she squished my cheeks together, giggling happily. I tried to ignore a man, apparently called Mike, sniffing curiously at my neck. Tried.<p>

Seriously, what is the problem with people here?

"Yeah…" Levi sighed, sipping from his cup. "Oi brat, you should eat."

I look down at my bread and sigh. It didn't look one bit appetising, to be honest. I wasn't really hungry.

"Here, do you want me to feed you~?" Petra giggled, tearing off a piece of bread and waving it in front of my face. Seeing me seal my lips shut and scoot back further into my chair had her giggling even more. "Eat Eren, come on!"

"Tch, he's six, he can eat his own fucking food." Auruo grumped, his lips set in a hard grimace. He glared at me lazily with a distasteful expression, biting at his bread.

"Auruo! Don't swear in front of him!" The orange haired girl cried, blocking my ears with her hands. I looked down at the spotless floor glumly. I've already heard it, Petra. Many, many times.

I heard Levi sigh for the billionth time. "I just hope the Military Police doesn't find out…" He set his cup down onto the wooden table and leant on one elbow, brushing microscopic dust particles off the tabletop.

Suddenly, there were three sharp knocks on the door.

Levi slid his gaze uninterestingly towards the door, and Petra jumped out of her seat. "I'll get it!" She exclaimed as she marched over and flung the door open.

Standing at the door was a smiling Hanji, an unhappy blonde man with amazing eyebrows and an even more unhappy man with a Military Police jacket.

There was a moment of still silence before Hanji gave an awkward laugh. "Ah… I'm sorry~"

Levi slouched over even further onto the table. "Tch. Of course." He glared over at the three. "I knew it was only a matter of time, but already? Hanji-"

"Yeah, well, I told them Eren's run away somewhere but I guess that wasn't a good idea-"

"Quiet." The man with the horse logo said, and they stopped to look at him – I saw a receding hairline and dark bags under his bloodshot eyes. "Where is Eren Jaeger?"

Me?

What did he want with me?

"BRING OUT EREN JAEGER IMMEDIATELY!"

"Ah… I am… I guess?" I stammered, trying to turn myself around clumsily in my chair so I could face him.

He stared at me hard, almost creepily, before turning to Hanji. "So you were telling the truth at the end. Surprising." He suddenly marched quickly over to me, leaving mud footprints behind on the wood that received a scornful look from Levi. "You will come with us, then."

Wait, what?

He grabbed painfully hard onto my arm and dragged me off the chair, not letting go even when I fell right off my chair into a heap on the dirt-trekked floor.

"What are you going to do with a dumb brat like him?" I heard Levi's cold voice come from above me, and I looked up to see the man staring back just as emotionlessly.

"Jaeger is technically currently a titan. He attempted turning into a titan, there was a spark, but when the steam disappeared he was a young boy." He yanked me up forcefully, and I find myself biting back a whimper as my arm goes through a thorough amount of abuse.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I didn't know the survival of humanity was in the hands of such idiotic men." Levi rose from his seat, glaring to a terrifying degree.

"Levi, don't." The blonde man at the doorway spoke for the first time, his voice low and intelligent. His piercing blue eyes stared at him, warning him.

"Are you saying you're fine with this, Erwin?"

"Of course not."

The man walked up to the one still grasping onto my arm. "I think it fair that we give him a chance. He has been harmless for the entire day, and in this physical state it's unlikely he'll cause any problems."

The Military Police man looked at him with blank eyes, and then at me. His glare bore into me, and I felt his hand dig further into my flesh. "The chances of him turning into a titan in this state…?"

"Is close to zero." Hanji said swiftly, still standing in the doorway. "He doesn't have the ability nor the knowledge to do so."

The man studied her for a moment, then me, and then finally released the grip on my arm. It throbbed for a bit and I rubbed at it through the fabric of my sleeve, staring up at the man. "Very well then." He said finally, "But to prevent any… _unfortunate_ accidents, he must be chained at night and must have 24 hour surveillance."

"Didn't we just tell you that he's-" Levi started, but Erwin cut him off. "Yes, we understand. We agree with your terms."

The man hesitated, but left in the end with an unconvinced look clear on his face. I watched him leave and the door close after him.

Questions swam endlessly through my mind. Why was he going to take me away? Why did everyone keep talking about how I was a titan?

I heard Hanji sigh and I glanced over at her, still standing near the doorway. Her hands were placed on her hips, and she looked at me from behind her thick glasses. "Eren." She said at last, letting her hands slip off to dangle beside on either side of her. "Have you finished eating?"

I didn't end up eating, but sure. I nodded at her, wondering what was going to happen.

"Come with me, then." She said and walked past the table, past the corporal and his squad, and paused at the top of the staircase when I didn't follow. "Come on."

I opened my mouth to ask her where we were going, but Levi spoke first, his arms crossed unhappily. "Hanji. Are you really thinking about chaining him up-"

"Well that's what they said to do. I don't want to either."

"He's six Hanji, fucking six!"

"I know that! But if it's between him being ripped apart to be experimented on or chaining him up, I'd rather the latter."

Not having a clue what they were discussing, I looked down at the floor. It was polished to such a degree that I could almost see my reflection in the surface.

"Levi, Hanji's right about this one. For now, we'll just have to go by their orders." Erwin's voice drifted over and I looked up just as Hanji grabbed my hand and pulled me along, but her grip was far gentler than the man from before.

I could almost feel the corporal's glare burning holes through my back.

Led by Hanji, we trudged down two flights of stairs before we reached a bare, cold room with a single white bed in the corner.

"This's going to be your room from now." She said as she pushed my reluctant body further into the coldness. "You'll sleep here."

Seeing her expectant stare, I climbed up onto the bed. It felt hard and uncomfortable underneath my body, but there was no way I was going to complain, not after all that just then.

"And…" She sighed, and reached her hand out to either side of the bed to retrieve handcuffs with chains attached to them. "I don't want to do this at all, but you're permitted to wear these while you sleep."

I looked at them blankly. Chains? Handcuffs?

Now this bare room reminded me too much of a prison. And I was the criminal.

But why?

"I'm sorry." She added quickly when I remained silent, and I quickly regain what little composure I had. "Ah, no… it's fine." I stutter as she slipped them around my wrists and I heard a clank as they locked in. They felt cold and heavy around my wrists, and they weighed down my arms to the bed.

"I'm sorry, really." She said again, but I managed a small smile.

"It's okay. Good night." I told her, and she smiled weakly at me before patting me on the head and walking out of the door, shutting it securely behind her. As her footsteps faded away, I realized how alone I was, and shivering I struggle with the chains to pull the thin blanket over me. It did little to shield me from the impending chill, but it was better than nothing. And I knew better than to complain.

I looked sideways at the chains, the smell of rusting metal lingering in my nose. I heard them clink every time I moved.

Why am I chained?

I didn't want to be bound. I didn't do anything wrong.

I was trapped enough with the walls surrounding us.

I wanted to be free.

I felt a sudden warmth slide down my deathly cold cheeks, and I blink unexplainable tears out of my eyes.

I had no idea why I was crying, to be honest. I didn't want to either.

Struggling to lift one heavy arm up, I rub the tears off my face but give up when the chains connecting to the cuffs kept bashing into my face. More tears just slide down, anyway.

I stared at the ceiling, willing them to go away. Every breath I took in stung my lungs with icy air, and my throat burned.

Suddenly, I felt warmth engulf my hand, and I slide my eyes to the shackled wrist to find a pair of hands holding mine. I looked up to see where a face should be but found it was too dark to see.

"Oi, brat. Don't cry. You'll stain the sheets." The owner of the hands told me, gripping my hand gently. I choked out an apology and swallowed my sobs down, which just caused hiccups to echo through the room. I heard a sigh, and felt soothing hands brush my tears away.

"You'll be okay. I'm here."

Was it corporal…?

Whoever it was, the warmth from his hand and the sound of his voice were the only reasons I managed to slip into oblivion in this cold and painfully lonely room.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Levi wanted to clean, so I let him. **

**Thanks for all your reviews, you guys are awesome! **

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><p>When I opened my eyes, Petra's smiling face was the first thing I saw.<p>

"Good morning Eren!" She beamed, quickly unlocking the shackles off my wrist and flinging them over the edge of the bed as though they never existed. "I was just about to wake you up-"

"How long is the fucking kid going to sleep?" I heard the door being slammed open and Auruo thundered in, his face contorted in his usual grimace.

"He's up, don't swear!" The orange-haired girl shouted back, putting her cross face on and pushing the chair she was sitting on out of the way.

"About time." I heard his grumpy voice as I hopped off the bed, my body feeling stiff and sore from the hard surface. How did I even manage to sleep here?

Oh yeah, those hands and that smooth, gentle voice.

They kind of reminded me of mum even though the voice was definitely a man's, and I realized I hadn't thought about her too much. I wonder where she was?

"Don't just stand there, brat, we're going upstairs." Auruo spat at me, and I looked up just as Petra slapped him on the back and then took my hand in hers.

The hands from last night definitely weren't hers – they weren't warm at all.

She pulled me along by the hand upstairs, and from the corner of my eye I could see Auruo looking distastefully at me.

What did I do now…?

"Good morning corporal!" Petra piped up when we got upstairs and saw Levi drinking a steaming mug of coffee, scanning through a few yellowing documents. He glared up from his document and grunted.

Yeah, okay it probably wasn't him last night either. It would be impossible for this grumpy clean freak to generate such a gentle voice.

I sat down in the only available seat, which happened to be right next to the corporal. I looked cautiously up at his face as he studied the documents on the table, watching his eyes skim across the page before sliding sideways to look down on me. I noticed for the first time that his eyes were a metallic blue-grey colour – almost a gleaming silver.

"What?" He grumbled, taking another sip of his coffee.

"N-Nothing, sorry." I quickly cast my eyes downwards at the piece of bread, same as yesterday. Beside it was a bowl of soup, and I picked up my spoon and drank the hot liquid, feeling it burn as it travelled down my throat.

I was about halfway into the soup when Levi suddenly stood up from his chair. "Hurry up you guys." He said, carrying his cup away. "It's time for the thirty-seventh great house-cleaning to commence."

The other members around the table stood up grudgingly with a muffled "Yes, sir", and picked up their plates and cups to wash them. "You better hurry." Petra whispered to me before chasing after the others, picking up various cleaning utensils on the way.

Stuffing my uneaten bread into my mouth, I picked up mine too and jumped off the chair, nearly losing balance as I scampered over to where everyone was washing up.

"Just chuck your stuff in here and go get your cleaning equipment from Corporal." Erdo told me, scrubbing at all the plates in one go. I did as I was told and ran back to where Levi was standing, tying a white cloth around his head and mouth. He didn't notice me at all and went to grab a broom from the cupboard, so I tugged on the hem of his shirt, wondering what cleaning equipment I was going to get.

"Oh, it's you." He said as he pulled the white cloth down from his mouth so he could speak. "Put this on." He was suddenly holding two pieces of pristine white cloth in his hand and giving it to me. "Take these too and go clean that filthy room of yours." He handed me a duster, a broom, some rags and a bottle of Windex. Overloaded with items, I teetered to the table and set them carefully down before attempting to tie the pieces of cloth around my head. All I got from that were aching arms from lifting them up for so long, fumbling with a knot which absolutely refused to keep in place. I gave up with a lopsided piece of cloth hanging over half my face and blocking the sight of one of my eyes. Defeated, I sighed and went to gather the items back into my arms.

"Oi, come here." I heard Levi's voice and I turned around clumsily just as he tugged me over to him by my shirt. "You look ridiculous." He added as he crouched down so his eyes were level with mine and his hands reached behind me to tie the knot securely around my head. He fixed up the fabric around my mouth too and then gave me a little pat on the head as he stood up. "There. Go clean now."

"Thanks Corporal!" I smiled, but the cloth around my mouth muffled my words. My arms full with cleaning utensils, I made my way carefully down the stairs to my room, making sure I didn't drop anything on the way.

Once I got there, I realized I had no clue on how to go about this. The darkness last night had hid black grimy mold coating the walls and dust and dirt filling every crack. There were even purple and orange mushrooms growing healthily underneath the bed I HAD BEEN SLEEPING ON.

Great.

I'd seen my mum clean before, so I tried to mimic her and picked up a rag and the bottle of Windex and scooted over to the nearest wall. Spraying the blue stuff onto it and scrubbing at it vigorously for five minutes did nothing except make my sore arms worse.

I gave up for now and went to dust around the room, sneezing as the dust went everywhere. Weren't these cloths supposed to help with that?

Sighing as I dusted off the last bit of dust from the various nooks and crannies, I proceeded by squatting down and trying to pick out all the dirt out of the cracks in the floor with the other end of the broom.

I concluded with the knowledge that I was indeed hopeless at cleaning.

I craned my neck back, sore from the dirt picking I had just endured, and I looked up to see the ceiling coated with fluffy, grey dust.

I should have done that first, dammit.

I grabbed the duster and climbed up onto the disastrously uncomfortable bed that was the initial cause of all the soreness in my muscles, and stood up on it, reaching up with the duster to dust the ceiling.

And of course, I wasn't tall enough to reach.

Not wanting to give up and leave the room with zero percent cleanness, I climbed up onto the headboard to balance precariously on the thin piece of wood, the hand that was duster-free on the wall next to me. The moldy wall. I grimaced in disgust.

The tip of the duster reached the ceiling, just, and feeling proud I stood up on tippy-toes, feeling my legs tremble from the exertion. I brushed at the dust accumulating in heavy loads and saw it drifting down to the ground. I moved further away from the wall to dust off more, trying to reach out to the furthest stretches of dust.

Suddenly, the door was opened to reveal a grumpy Corporal, holding a broom in one hand. "Are you not done yet?" He grumped, crossing his arms.

I didn't really hear because dust got into my nose again and I sneezed, and then felt my feet slipping as I lost my balance. Suddenly I found myself falling, not backwards towards the bed but forward towards the solid, not quite dirt-free concrete.

_Fuck_, I thought, and then found myself wondering if I used it in the right context as I collided face-first into the concrete, the impact knocking the breath out of me.

Good one, Eren.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I heard Levi's voice approaching me as I managed to lift myself up onto my elbows to cough as blood ran down from my nose, clogging up everything. "Ugh." He grimaced as he pulled me up from the ground to sit me upright against him, holding another pristine white cloth he conjured out of nowhere against my dripping nose.

"Zorry Gorporal," I apologized with my blocked nose, feeling ridiculously stupid. "I waz just trying to glean." I coughed as I felt more blood running into my throat. The metallic taste filled my mouth.

"Next time, if you can't do it just tell someone and they'll switch." He sighed as he ruffled my hair softly. "You made more of a mess here than when you started."

"Zorry." I said again, and he got up with a grunt, dragging me over so I was now leaning against the wall. Let me just emphasise to you that this one was moldy too.

"Hold you nose." He said as he let go of it, and I quickly lifted my hand up to hold the bloodstained cloth to my stinging nose. "When it's stopped, come upstairs. Someone's demanding to see you."

I nodded as he stood up and left the room, his footsteps gradually fading away.

I wondered who would want to see me. I didn't know many people here.

Maybe it was those scary Military Police people again.

If it was, I didn't really want to see them.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks so so much for all your lovely reviews, I love reading them so much 3 This was written pretty quickly (I hope it's an okay update...), so if there are any terrible mistakes, please do tell! I'll fix them up ASAP :)**

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><p>The very moment I reached the bottom of the stairs I was knocked over backwards off my feet by something rather aggressive, wrapping me in a tight embrace. Black hair was shoved in my face as it buried its face into my shoulder, pushing hard into my back with its hands so that my body was forced closer to its. I sneezed and flailed my limbs uselessly, a lot like a dying cockroach, and looked helplessly over at Levi, who was just watching us from his place at the table.<p>

Help, heichou help!

"Eren!" The person holding me finally loosened her grip slightly, and the breath returned to me body. It lifted its head up and I saw a girl's sparkling eyes studying my face intently. "Oh my god." She whispered, threading her hand through my hair before resting it on my , completely ignoring my struggle. "You're. So. Adorable."

I looked desperately over at corporal again, who was still sitting there impassively sipping coffee. HELP.

When he purposely avoided my frantic gaze and went to look blankly at the table surface, I put my hands on her shoulder and pushed away so she couldn't get any closer to my face. "W-Who are you?" I heard myself stuttering as I tried desperately to squirm out of her deathly grip.

She looked at me intensely for a few moments, before opening her mouth. "I guess you wouldn't know me yet." She said. "I'm Mikasa. Your future wife."

…What?

"Stop telling the kid bullshit." I heard corporal grunt as he finally pushed himself out of the chair. "Isn't it obvious that _I'm_ his future partner?"

Suddenly, Mikasa's eyes turned lethally narrow and she flicked around, whipping her hair into my face. "Shut up, midget, I will not hand over my precious Eren over to you."

I saw his face twitch in annoyance as he approached us. "First, fucking let go of him, he looks like he's dying."

Mikasa grudgingly complied, and the suffocating hair and strangling limbs were finally gone from my body. I slid away from her, fearful of when she'll attack me again.

"Good. Second, why are you here?" Heichou asked, taking the opportunity that she was on the ground to glare down.

"I overheard Erwin talking to Armin." She stated boldly. "They were talking about how something weird had happened to Eren, and I didn't have training today so I came." At that she turned to look lovingly at me, and I tried my best to look anywhere but her. "I didn't know you were _this_ cute when you were little, Eren." She said adoringly, reaching her hand out to take mine in hers.

I didn't know what she meant, but she didn't seem to be threatening so I warily let her have my sweating hand.

Levi didn't seem to think like that.

"Don't fucking _touch _him so freely." He spat, and suddenly he bent down and easily scooped me up into his arms so my hand slipped from her grip. "He's mine."

Uhh Heichou?

"Fucking midget." She stood up swiftly so she was at her full height, this time looking distastefully down on him. "You have no right to have him. I will be taking him back with me."

"No you will not." Levi said sternly. "You should leave now if you want to get back in time."

"He's my brother, I will take care of him." She said and she put her hand under my arms to try and lift me up. Heichou's grip on me tightened, and he glared at her.

"I'm his corporal. I have to take care of him."

The girl growled, her eyes turning scarier by the second. Holy crap, I didn't want to be taken with her. I gripped onto Levi's shoulders, trying to hold on as she pulled me hard.

"Just hand him over-"

"I'm so sorry, Heichou!" The door was suddenly burst open, and a blond boy was standing there, panting. "My apologies for her interrupting you! Come on Mikasa, let's go."

He came in through the door, and took her arm in a tight grip. "Armin." She mumbled. "That perverted midget is-"

"Mikasa!" The blonde exclaimed, bobbing his head in apology at us. "S-sorry, we'll leave now."

Is that Armin…?

I reached my arm cautiously out to grip onto his sleeve. "Armin?" I breathed. Why was he suddenly so tall?

"Oh." He suddenly stopped in his path, eyeing me carefully with his blue eyes. "I'm sorry. I don't think I know you." He said quickly, his eyes darting sideways, before dragging Mikasa along with him to the door. "Sorry for everything, Heichou!"

The door was shut behind them, and it was just Levi and I once more.

Why isn't anyone telling me anything? That was definitely Armin.

Levi set me down onto the ground just as Hanji and the rest of his squad came filing in, wiping the sweat off their foreheads and neatly folding the cloths they had been wearing around their heads.

"We've finished cleaning!" They announced, milling into the kitchen. "Time for lunch!"

"Go and help." Levi told me softly and pushed me a little towards them, and I turned around to look at him.

"Where are you going?" I asked him, wondering if I could come with him instead. I wasn't much good in the kitchen.

"A meeting." Was all he replied before turning around and walking out of the door.

I followed him with my eyes before Petra called my name and I scampered to the kitchen, wondering what we were having for lunch.

-x-

[_Levi_]

"How is Eren going?" Erwin asked, his chin resting on his hands.

"Alright." I sighed, leaning back in my chair. "Mikasa and Armin came around today. He was pretty confused."

"Oh?" The commander said, raising an eyebrow. "He should know Armin by that age."

"He did."

"Well I hope Armin didn't tell him anything. We can't have him find out he's living in the world of his fifteen year-old self just yet."

I looked at the dusty desk, unreflective and dirty. I wanted to clean it desperately. "Why not?"

"Quite a few Military Police members are out for his blood. If he finds out he really is a titan-shifter, then it could increase the chance of his death, since his identity would be easier to discover. And according to Hanji, it seems that in this six year-old state, he's pretty easy to kill."

I think about that for a second. I guess it made sense. "He's going to find out eventually."

Erwin sighed, and got up from his chair. "Well, your job is to make sure he doesn't."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I just wanted some ereri fluff and Hanji insisted she had to do her beloved experiments, so this shit happened.**

**Reviews are so beautiful and very, very appreciated ^.^**

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><p>"It's experiment time!" Hanji announced loudly as I picked up the last piece of bread and crammed it into my mouth. "Come on, hurry up Eren!" She grabbed onto my wrist and pulled me out of my chair. Wondering why I was always interrupted during mealtimes, I attempted to keep up with her as she dragged me away from the table, still trying to chew the bread in my mouth. I could feel Petra's worried eyes watching after us as we disappeared into the stairwell.<p>

We went quickly through a hallway and I was about to ask her where we were going when she finally slammed a door open and marched excitedly in, her eyes gleaming as she pulled me in after her.

It seemed empty except for a busy-looking desk on one side of the room, piled with documents and books.

She made me sit down on a chair placed a little away from it, and then suddenly she had a clipboard tucked snuggly underneath her arm; a knife and a pen ready in her hands.

Wait, a _knife?_

Seeing the obsessive sparkle in her eyes, I shuffled to the edge of the cold, metal chair, watching her cautiously.

What is she about to do…?

She walked over to me, smiling. "Don't worry, it'd be real quick." She said, and then grabbed onto the arm closest to her. I tried to pull it away from her but her grip was strong, and she quickly tugged the sleeve up to expose the skin on my forearm.

"Hanji, what are you-"

"Don't worry, don't worry." She muttered again before swiftly slicing a clean, deep cut onto the soft flesh of my arm.

Pain shot up, sharp and stinging, and I bit down a cry and tried to tug my arm away from her, and when that failed tried to kick her away as she pried at the bleeding wound, examining It carefully as she stretched it in various painful directions.

"Hmmm…" She said at last, and let go of my arm absentmindedly, making me tumble awkwardly onto the floor. She went to scribble notes into her clipboard, the blood from my arm smudging onto the paper. "No regeneration, whatsoever."

Regeneration?

Was she crazy? Of course I can't regenerate. Only titans do.

I sat on the ground looking at her write thoughtfully into her clipboard, trying to avoid the freely flowing blood from getting onto my shirt. It dripped onto the ground, and I kind of stared at it for a bit, not really knowing what to do with it.

Finally, she looked up from her writing. "Oh sorry," She said, "You can go now."

I stood up from my spot and walked to the door, the palm of my hands sweating as I went past her. Hopefully she won't do anything else-

"Actually, wait a moment. Come here."

I froze at the doorway, afraid to look over my shoulder. What was she going to do now? Cut off my entire arm to see if I regenerate if I had a larger wound? Gouge my eyes out to see if I regenerate if the wound wasn't on my limb? Break my bones to see-

"Eren, come on."

I gulped and turned around, wondering what sort of hideous instrument she had in her hands. But when I looked, she was digging through a first-aid box, unearthing a roll of white bandages.

Oh.

"Come sit here. Hold your arm out." She said, tapping onto the chair distractedly, and I slowly did as I was told. My arm was still bleeding when it disappeared behind tightly wrapped bandages, but a red stain had already bled through by the time she was finished. "It'll stop soon. Does it hurt?"

I nod slightly, holding my bandaged arm protectively to myself. Of course it hurts, you just sliced my arm open.

"Okay! Well tell me when the pain suddenly disappears or something! Oh and try not to tell Levi about this if you can – he'll get pissed at me." She said cheerfully, and then shooed me out of the door, closing it tightly after me. I gratefully went down the hallway, relieved that no more injuries were inflicted upon me today.

It took me a while to realize I didn't know which direction of the hallway I should have gone.

Soon, I reached an intersection with the choice of going left or right, both looking completely identical to each other. I took a few steps in each direction, wondering if there were any signs to lead me back.

There were none.

Ummm.

I wasn't lost. Of course not.

It's probably left. Definitely left.

I had to turn a corner, go up a flight of stairs, travel down a corridor and turn another corner before finally admitting that I was lost. Completely and utterly lost.

Well.

Since mum always said that if you're lost, you shouldn't move around and get yourself more lost, I decided I would just sit here for a bit and wait for someone to walk by.

Hopefully…

My arm was still throbbing and the afternoon sun was filtering in through a narrow window when I sat down in one of the corridors, leaning against a concrete wall.

I wondered to myself how I could possibly get lost inside one building, and then blamed myself for having no sense of direction. Ugh.

I hugged myself as the corridor grew colder and colder, and watched the orange rays reflect long shadows onto the wall in front of me. I winced as my knee dug into my arm, and lifted my sleeve up to stare at the seeping red on the bandage blankly.

The people here were scary. Really scary.

I wanted to go back.

I thought about mum and dad and Armin, and when I did I felt warm and safe, even in the chill. I didn't realize when my eyelids had slid closed and my consciousness was slowly fading away.

The last thought I had was of Armin talking excitedly about the endless land of ice and the deep, blue sea, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

-x-

[_Levi_]

"I didn't do anything, seriously!" Hanji exclaimed, looking at me innocently through her thick glasses.

"Well, he's not here right now, is he?" I growled back. I was just gone for a few hours, and this happens. "The brat's supposed to have 24 hour surveillance, did you fucking forget?"

"Oh oops. I took him to my room and then I just let him get back by himself."

I felt my temper rising rapidly. Can I just smash her face in with a brick? "Ugh. I'll go fucking look for him. But you're explaining this to Erwin and the fucking Military Police if he's gone missing."

"He wouldn't have~" She said as she turned away. "He's a good boy."

I sighed. I give up. I hope a titan eats her.

I turned around and start ascending the stairs, my boots echoing through the stairwell. It wasn't that easy to navigate through the castle, but I didn't think it would be enough to get lost. Well, I guess Eren's only been here for a day and a bit.

I reached the level where Hanji's office was, and I walk through the hallway. It was almost completely dark, and the castle at night had an eerie feel.

He wasn't here.

I went back into the stairwell and went another level up. As I stepped into the corridor, I wished I had bought some light here with me. I could hardly see a thing.

I managed to navigate through the corridor and then turned a corner. My eyes immediately slid to an especially shadowy spot on one edge, and as I neared it I could just make out a little kid – his head bowed forwards and his arms wrapped tightly around his knees.

Eren.

"Oi. Brat." I said as I stood in front of him. When he didn't wake up, I kicked randomly, and I felt my foot connect to his arm. "Wake up-"

A cry interrupted me, and startled I looked down to see him wide-eyed and whimpering, clutching onto his arm.

What? Did I kick that hard?

I quickly knelt down in front of him, and cautiously slid one hand to his freezing cheek so he would look at me. "What's wrong?" I found myself asking, my other hand reaching for the arm I had kicked.

"It's nothing! Sorry…" He quickly said as he tried to pull off a tired smile. "Thanks for finding me though, I was kind of lost-"

"Just fucking show me." I found myself growling and tugged his arm away from him. I lifted up the sleeve to find it bandaged, blood visibly soaked through.

"Brat?" I asked as he tugged it back away from my sight, hugging his legs even closer to himself. "How did that happen?"

Who _dare_ hurt him-

"I… s-sorry…"

"Hey."

"Um, well it's just a little cut. It was necessary I think-"

"Who did it?"

"I-uh, I tripped and fell into some knives-"

I felt my eyebrow twitch in annoyance. "Are you a _fucking_ idiot?"

He looked at me uneasily, and then gave a little sigh. "Uh well, Hanji did. It was for an experiment."

That shitty- glasses… I'll kill her one day.

"Seriously, you could've just said that."

I sighed and slid my arms around him and lifted him up, and felt him immediately wrap his arms around my neck for warmth. "You okay?" I asked quietly, just in case he was hiding some other injury that was inflicted upon him. He nodded slightly, burying his face into the side of my neck.

The walk back downstairs didn't seem as dark and lonely as before.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Basically just a pointless fluff chapter to fulfill my own cravings for this lovely shit. Reviews are very appreciated and thoroughly enjoyed ^.^**

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I had probably fallen asleep again while I was in Levi's arms, because when I came to I was lying on the hard, cold bed, facing the empty ceiling. It took me a while to realize how deathly cold it was, and I scrambled up to get the blanket that was spread out messily at my feet (I probably kicked it off myself – I wasn't a very peaceful sleeper.) The iron cuffs jangled noisily, and so I held onto them to keep them from making too much noise. The metal dug into my wound and I winced as I finally managed to sit up on the bed.

That was when I noticed Levi in a chair next to the bed. He was sleeping - his usual frown gone from his face, and his arms were crossed tightly as though to keep himself warm.

I looked at the blanket, then back at him, and then sighed and reached for the thin piece of cloth, trying to keep my movements minimal as possible so the clanking of the chains won't disrupt his peace. Once I had a hold on the blanket, I leant over the side of the bed as far as the chains let me and placed it onto corporal's body. He muttered something incoherent and loosened his arms a bit. I felt a smile tugging at my lips at the sight and lay back down onto the bed, shivering as I curled up on my side.

It didn't take long for me to slip into sleep again, huddling to myself with the endless chattering of my teeth as a lullaby.

-x-

The first thing I felt as my consciousness trickled back was how warm it was. I wanted to stay like this forever if I could – lulled by the gentle rise and fall of something I was pressed against and the comfortable hand stroking my hair.

"You're awake aren't you? Idiot." The voice came from above me, and as it came the hand stopped. I gave a little groan and nestled further into the warmth, and felt the warm hand threading through my hair again. "Tch. Come on, get up."

I lazily opened my resisting eyelids as I felt myself being pulled to an upright position, and found myself staring into Levi's face. The blanket I had draped on him last night was wrapped tightly around me now, enveloping me in warmth.

"What the fuck were you doing? You were freezing this morning." He said, his hand coming up to touch my forehead. "And now, you've got a fucking fever. Good job. Keep the bloody blanket for yourself next time."

"You looked cold though." I muttered, my eyes drooping from sleepiness. I leant back against him, feeling the rise and fall of his chest against me.

"Worry about yourself, brat." He said, and his hand rubbed more warmth into my back. "Get up. You have to eat."

Eat? I didn't want to eat. "I'm not hungry." I mumbled, my mind drifting to the realms of sleep. I'm popped back to reality when Levi stood up with a sigh, taking me with him.

"I don't care. You're eating." He grumbled, and carried me down the stairs to where the rest of his squad was already seated.

"Good morning, Eren!" Petra piped up as usual, and I tried to smile back as Levi dumped me into my chair, hard and uncomfortable compared to the warm bliss from just then. Levi then came and dumped a bowl full of porridge in front of me, and seated himself next to me, a cup of coffee in his hand.

"You're not leaving until you drink every drop of that, understand?" He ordered, and I was forced to nod under his cold, threatening glare. I picked up my spoon and shove the steaming liquid into my mouth.

It tasted… good?

I cram another spoonful into my mouth, followed by another. My hunger that was completely non-existent before came tumbling back, and in a matter of minutes I had licked the bowl clean, my stomach warm and full. I looked up at Levi for approval but he grabbed my face, and started rubbing it vigorously with a piece of cloth. "Tch." He spat, "Can't even eat properly."

"How's your arm Eren?" I heard Petra ask when Levi was done with cleaning my face. I looked down at it, and found it freshly bandaged, and also realized that the stinging pain from yesterday was reduced to a dull ache.

"It's better." I replied, and Petra beamed at me with a bright "That's good!" while Auruo, who hadn't spoken the whole time pulled another of his unhappy looks. I tried to smile back at her, but then my nose itched and I sneezed, immediately causing Levi to glare at me with an even more distasteful look than Auruo.

"You." He said, still glaring at me. "Go to your room and fucking sleep."

"What, why?" I asked, feeling perfectly fine apart from being a bit drowsy. I wanted to go outside or something today-

"Go. Now." Levi ordered, but then grabbed my shirt to twist me around. "But first, blow your nose."

"I can do it myself." I struggled, trying to get the cloth off my nose, but his hands kept me from pushing him away.

"Don't fucking struggle, hurry up." He said, irritated, and I give in and blow my nose into the cloth. He gives me a disgusted look when I'm done, as I expected, and immediately went to chuck the thing out.

See. That was exactly why I didn't want to.

I slid off my chair, thinking I'd just do as I'm told and go to my room since I'm going to be forced to eventually anyway.

But it was weird because as soon as I stood up, the world started spinning around and I had to topple backwards against the chair, wondering why my head was suddenly throbbing so much.

"Eren, are you okay?" I heard Petra's worried voice coming closer when I tried to stand against and failed miserably, as I do most things, and this time ended up with my butt on the cold stone ground.

"Ugh. Just leave him alone – I'll drag him back up." Levi approached me and pulled me up by the hand, and actually dragged me across the room. I prepared to be bumped up the stairs in the same manner, but surprisingly he scooped me up into his arms with a grunt, probably to excuse me from the scrapes and bruises that would result from dragging me up the stairs.

I had already half fallen asleep by the time we were back in my room, and my eyes refused to open even as he dumped me onto the bed, shoving the blanket onto me. I curled up into it, feeling sleep envelop my senses.

I then felt a few thousand kilograms of weight dropped on top of me and I open my eyes a crack to find thick blankets piled on my body.

"I… don't need this many…" I mumbled, wriggling to get comfortable, but Levi just shoved another blanket on my face so I couldn't talk anymore.

"Just sleep, brat. Sleep and get fucking better."

Wondering if this was him trying to be nice, I kick off a few of the blankets and snuggle into the rest, and heard him leaving the room as I carelessly let sleep take over me.

I had long forgotten what came to me in times like these.

_Nightmares._


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I don't know what's happening anymoreeeeee :D :D this is actually the most terrible chapter update ever and I'm quite ashamed, but I'll forgive myself for the time being since it's like 2am. I'm jam packed with exams for the next two weeks too, god dammit. **

**Well, it was fun writing this ^.^ (please do tell me the places where I have stuffed up – there's bound to be heaps)**

**Thanks for all your kind reviews! Reading them makes me happy \(^o^)/**

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><p><em>Where am I?<em>

Everything seemed to be washed in a light red-orange, and I looked around. I realized that I was standing just outside my house. Everything was normal.

I suddenly notice that some houses around me were broken down – all wood and stone rubble, littering the ground in a heap.

_Strange_.

Next, I heard screaming. The screaming of people - in pain and in fear.

There's footsteps now too- loud and thundering.

Everything seemed far away and too close at the same time.

I faced straight, and saw my own house. It was crumpled down too. I dimly wonder what happened.

Then I saw Mum. Her pained face; her legs entrapped in the rubble of our house.

_Why was she…?_

"Go!" She was shouting, tears streaming down her face. "Eren! Mikasa!"

"Mum!" I yelled back. I could lift her out from under there, and everything would be alright.

I was about to run towards her, when I realized I couldn't. I couldn't move a single step towards her.

That was when I saw it.

Its body was huge and scrawny- its head set precariously on top.

Its teeth were bared in a smile – a smile too big for it's face.

A titan.

It reached down into the rubble, and came back up with a struggling body in one of its massive bony hands, and even from afar I somehow recognize it was Mum.

"Mum!" I found myself yelling, and I reach my arm out to her. I could save her, and we could run away together. "Mum!"

But instead, I found I was moving away, an unfaltering grip around my body. "Mum! No!"

Why can't I help her?

I was forced to watch as it lifted her up into the air, her fists beating aimlessly at the hands lifted its hand over her head. Took a hold of her head.

Wrenched her apart.

Just as easily as plucking an apple from a tree.

Blood spurted from where her head used to be – her body now limp and unmoving. I could feel a scream tearing through my throat and the tears streaming endlessly down my face, my body desperately trying to escape the arm holding me back.

The titan lifted the body up and placed it lovingly into its mouth before biting down hard with its huge teeth.

Blood dribbled down its chin and chest as it gulped down, and then it bared its bloody teeth in a wide smile.

No_. No._

The blood-red world close in around me, and the last thing I saw was the titan grinning at me, its eyes squinted into narrow slits.

My eyes snapped open in the darkness and a heavy drumming filled my ears, beating too fast for me to follow. I stared at the ceiling for a while, listening to the sounds of my harsh breaths and feeling the warm tears streaming down my cheeks and drenching the pillow beneath me.

No.

It can't be mum, she can't just get eaten.

I thought there hasn't been a titan inside the walls for a century?

It was just a dream. Yeah, nothing to be scared about.

That thought really didn't offer any comfort, and I curled up onto my side.

The blood. The mangled body.

It was like I had seen it all before.

Trying to steady my breathing, I scrambled up on the bed. My head swam violently; my stomach weighed a ton.

I had to see mum.

Why hadn't I seen her all this time anyway?

I suddenly notice the metal cuffs around my wrist. Trying to gulp down the sobs, I scramble at them uselessly. "Get them off me." I vaguely heard myself whispering. "Get them _off._"

My entire vision was dim, and nothing felt real anymore. I only faintly saw myself yanking hard on the chains, over and over again, before going to pound at them hard with my fists. I knew it was futile every time I felt the pain of the metal against my hand, but I blindly kept at it until a hand came from nowhere and firmly gripped onto my bruised one. It kept holding on even as I tried to pull away.

Just like the arm that kept me from saving Mum.

"Let go!" I thought I'd yelled, but only a strangled whimper seemed to have come out. I tried again, and this time got nothing.

"Eren, fucking-" I yanked hard again to escape the grip, and when that failed I bit hard at the person's arm. I tasted fabric fill my mouth before I felt a sharp sting on my cheek, and surprised, I let my jaw go loose.

"Calm the fuck down." I heard a familiar growl sound near me as he pushed me down onto the bed, his grip on my wrist still unfaltering. I struggled for a moment before giving up when his other hand pressed hard at my back, pinning me there. "Calm. Down."

Please… just please let me see my Mum.

Please let me forget that bloodied image imprinted in my mind.

I felt the hand on my back loosen it's hold as I pressed my face into the sheets, feeling the strain in my throat disappear and the tears to flood out freely. I felt it soaking into the sheets, warming it before making it cold and uncomfortable. The hand disappeared completely when my back started wracking with uncontrollable hiccups and sobs, muffled by the pillow I had dragged clumsily over towards me.

I heard Levi curse softly under his breath before seating himself onto the edge of the bed. "Here." He said quietly, and I felt my arms being lifted up. There was the sound of keys unlocking and then I felt the iron cuffs fall from my wrist and land onto the bed. "If you struggle, I'm putting them back on."

I hug my throbbing arms to myself, but then felt Levi picking me up and positioning me on his lap. I stayed tense for a second before giving in and leaning forwards onto him, pressing my face into his shoulder.

"It's okay." He whispered, rubbing my sweaty back in soothing circles. When I still couldn't get my crying in control, he sighed. "Come on."

I gulp and took a few shaking breaths in. I could still see Mum's mangled body every time I closed my eyes, and I dug my face even further into Levi's shoulder, feeling the bone dig painfully into my face.

After a few more minutes, I'm finally reduced to shaky breaths and the occasional hiccup, and I loosened the hold I never knew I had on Levi's shirt. He had his hand in my hair now, slowly threading his fingers through.

"I- I'm sorry…" I make myself apologise, fearful of his reply, if any at all. Now that I could actually think, I didn't even know why I had been so resisting in the first place. And it was unthinkable for me now to oppose, let alone _bite_ the man I had admired for my entire life.

_Embarrassing._

And for a painful moment, he stayed silent, but then he pulled me upright so I could now see his face. He studied my eyes for a second before sighing. "You fucking scared me, idiot." He said, scrunching my hair up. "Was it a dream?"

I nod, and then open my mouth. "Do you know where my Mum is?" I asked quietly, feeling amazingly stupid. "She hasn't… died…. Or anything?"

I stared down at the sheets, too ashamed to look up into his eyes. He didn't say anything for a while, but when he did, I looked up. "I'm sure she isn't." He said, his voice quiet. "You'll see her when you go back, definitely."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Oh my god, I'm so sorry for not posting for so long. I was being extremely lazy (it's the holidays too! D: ) and I had zero inspiration. But anyway, here's a crappy chapter update. Yay! Also, it'd be so great if you guys could give me some ideas of what you want to happen in the future, because as I said earlier, I HAVE NO INSPIRATION *sobs*. But apart from that, thanks for all your lovely reviews! I love them all dearly ^.^**

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><p>[<em>Levi<em>]

I have to admit – I was worried. Really, fucking worried. And his sudden outburst of panic in the middle of the night really didn't help anything.

It took him a whole hour to actually calm down and go back to sleep, and even when he did I was nervous he might start freaking out again if I put him back down, and I really couldn't be sure if I could calm him down again. So I ended up staying there for about three hours before I finally left the dungeon (which, by the way, was seriously too cold) and went upstairs to my room.

I really wasn't in the mood to go back to sleep, though, so after a few minutes of restless brooding I went down the hall to Hanji's study to see if she was there. Sure enough, I could see the light of her candle flooding out onto the hallway from the slightly open door, and I pushed the door open and let myself in.

She perked up the moment I set foot into the room. "Ooh Levi! What's up?" She exclaimed as she snapped the book she was reading shut, her glasses reflecting the candlelight eerily.

"Ugh, nothing." I grumbled as I leaned against the wall, folding my arms. "That brat just started freaking out about some nightmare."

"Oh, he did?" Hanji replied absentmindedly, pulling out some documents with almost unreadable scribbles etched across it. "That's weird. He seemed perfectly happy the last time I saw him."

I don't say anything and watch her for a while, scanning documents and occasionally adding her own little scribble here and there. She was the one to break the silence.

"Maybe you're being too hard on him?" She said, putting her pen down and facing me. "You're already harsh enough to adults- you're probably too intimidating for a kid."

I frowned, but consider it for a bit. Was I being too harsh to him? I didn't really know. He was troublesome, yes, and I had my moments of annoyance but all in all I did try to be at least a little less threatening than usual. I didn't even punish him for not cleaning his room properly.

But I had to admit that I really wasn't suited for looking after little brats like him.

"Shitty- glasses." I finally said. "Can I ask you to look after him for a while then?"

Hanji suddenly froze, and then suddenly swiveled her head around to stare at me. "Really?" She said excitedly, her eyes lighting up manically. "Can I really look after him?"

…Was I really making the right decision in letting this psycho titan-freak take care of Eren?

I must have given a slight nod or something because she leapt out of her chair to jump up and down on the spot. "Thank you Levi!" She squealed. "Whooo! So many experiments to do! I'm so excited!"

I reached out and grabbed the collar of her shirt so she would stop jumping. "I trust you to not hurt him, do you understand?" I growled, remembering what she did to Eren's arm. "If you do, I guarantee I will cut your head off."

"Okay, okay." She said, prying my fingers off her. She did a little pirouette before returning to her desk. "Now go away, Levi, I need to list up all the experiments that will be conducted." She waved me off, and I glared at her before walking out of her study, still skeptical of what she would do.

She wouldn't do anything too bad, right? She was crazy, but I trusted her. And she's probably more used to kids than I am.

Wondering how Eren was going, I walk down the steps again to his room. I stop just outside the doorway, peering in to where he was.

All I could see from here was that he wasn't moving much except for the gentle rise and fall of his back. That means he was sleeping, right?

My eyes fell onto the iron chains, falling uselessly on either side of the bed. I would get in a ton of trouble if the Military Police found out that I couldn't make myself put the cuffs back onto him after he fell asleep. I don't regret it though.

I took another look at him before turning around and heading upstairs.

I wouldn't be seeing him for a while.

-x-

[_Eren_]

When I woke up, the first thing I saw was a close up of Hanji's face stuck right in front of mine. "Good morning!" She hollered, and I stare at her face for a solid minute with my heart thumping too hard in my chest.

"G-good morning Hanji…" I managed to finally stutter, and she straightened up, her smile warm.

"After you _quickly_ eat your breakfast, we're gonna have a bit of an experiment time." She said, placing her hands on her hips. "Go go go." She said when I didn't move, poking hard at my back so I was forced off my bed. "Petra's probably still eating too, so she'll take care of you. I'll come fetch you in about ten minutes."

I nod slightly, letting her push me to the bottom of the stairwell. "See you later!" She grinned, and disappeared back into the room. I glimpsed her grabbing her jacket uniform from the chair she was sitting on as I walked up the stairs, my footsteps echoing through the stone stairwell. It didn't take long till I was in the upper level of the building.

"Eren! Good morning!" Petra chirped up the moment she saw me. I smiled at her and climbed into the seat beside her, noticing that there was nobody else at the table.

"Good morning, Petra." I said, taking a hold of the bread in front of me. "Where are the others?"

"Oh, they're all taking care of their horses. I already did mine earlier this morning so that's why I'm left here." She smiled, taking a small bite of her half-eaten bread. "I'm glad you fixed up that cold, though. Did you sleep well?"

Did I sleep well? For some reason, I didn't think the answer was a yes.

Last night… what happened again?

The image of Mum's bloody body suddenly flew into my mind. Then the titan, it's mouth open frighteningly wide. The stench of blood filled my nostrils, as sickening and terrifying as the flecks of blood that flew out as the titan bit its teeth down hard onto Mum….

No no no, stop this. _Stop this._

It was a dream. A _dream_. It didn't actually happen. Mum was alive somewhere. Maybe not here, but somewhere.

I make myself close my eyes momentarily before opening them again, trying to calm the breathing that was threatening to hitch and quicken. "…Yeah. I slept well." I grab a bite from my bread to hide the fear probably obvious on my face.

"Oh, that's good." She smiled, and I did my best to smile back with a mouth full of bread. I watched her finish her breakfast and then rise from her seat. "I think Hanji's probably going to come down to fetch you soon, so I'll be washing up if you need me."

I reply with a muffled 'okay', and she patted me softly on the head before she walked outside, her boots clacking on the wooden floor. My eyes linger on the door for a moment before I cram the remaining bread into my mouth just as I heard Hanji approaching me from behind.

"Eren~!" She shouted, thumping me on the back. "You finished eating? It's experiment time~!"

I turned around to face her excited, happy face, and sighed.

This wasn't going to end well.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I'm so sorry for being inactive, seriously. (and this crappy chapter won't make up for it...) I've been ridiculously busy and still am, which is why this chapter is so short as well as miserably terrible. I apologise, and keep it easy with the insults for this chapter! ^.^ I'll proofread it after my exams.**

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><p>The first thing Hanji did when she had successfully dragged me excitedly up the stone staircase and into her room (which held all its lovely memories) was to tell me to hold my arm out.<p>

I looked at her grinning face for a couple minutes. Was she joking?

Nn. Yeah. She must be joking. There was no way that I was going to angelically agree and hold my arm out to be sliced open again. I'll put my arm as far away from her devilish wrath as possible, thanks.

But I guess that me agreeing didn't really matter at all since she just came a little closer, tugged my arm from behind my back and pulled up the sleeve. She wasn't holding a knife in her hand this time, so I looked at her, scared but expectant, wondering what the hell she was going to do this time.

I wasn't left wondering for much longer because she twisted behind her and had a needle held snugly in her hand when she turned back.

"I'm so excited! Okay, so this is the very first one that I made. I have twelve in total. So anyway, just stay still for a bit…"

Excitement gleaming in her eyes, and before I could say anything she swiftly came forwards and stuck the needle into my upper arm. It stung a bit before I felt cold liquid rushing into me, immediately heating up the muscles around it. My arm started trembling, and in the sudden heat I hardly noticed the slight pain of the needle leaving my body.

What the hell did she put into me?

My body temperature felt like it had gone up by like 20 degrees but the trembling in my body just kept increasing. My vision stopped focusing and I hardly realised that my knees had buckled underneath me and I was kneeling on the ground in a daze. The sound of her feather scribbling on her clipboard stopped for a second and I felt myself getting tugged back up so I was standing, just.

"Keep standing. Just another minute." She said absentmindedly before returning to her clipboard. I stood there, gasping for breath as my body heated another few notches.

After a while of trying to keep standing with my fading consciousness, Hanji finally stopped scribbling. "Okay oh my god okay this is so great. Now, try biting your hand. Like that bit that's easy to bite." She tapped on that bit of my hand and then stepped away a bit.

What?

Why did I have to bite my hand?

"Hurry! Otherwise I won't be able to tell if it works or not." I faintly heard Hanji's voice over the throbbing of my heartbeat loud in my ears.

Whatever.

I lift my hand up to my mouth and bite down onto it, hard enough that it hurt a little. It didn't' taste very nice.

"Harder! Come on." Her voice came again, but this time I just limply let go of my hand.

"Why…?" I ask her, irritated, feeling like sitting down on the ground and sleeping for an eternity. "Why do I have to bite my-"

"Oh my god, well. It's rather complicated to explain in this emergency situation that we are currently in now but long story short my life will become a thousand times easier if you would just obediently chomp down on that hand of yours so just do it. Please."

She said that ridiculously fast and I'm left staring at her for a moment before awkwardly lifting my hand up to my mouth again. I give up. I'll just do as she says.

I put my hand back in my mouth and bite down, a little harder than before.

"Harder!" She said loudly. She looked up from her clipboard so that I could see her eyes filled with excitement, just like usual. "Just like, ignore the pain and bite down as hard as you can."

Tears start burning my eyes as I try to bite into the flesh harder and harder, until the taste of metal floods into my mouth as my teeth pierce through the skin. "Whoo! That's it!" Hanji cheered as she scribbled stuff down in her clipboard. "Keep biting!"

It was until I started coughing on the blood spilling into my mouth that she finally said that I could let go. I gladly did and toppled onto the ground, more dazed than in pain. I stared down at the ripped skin on my hand, wondering what the hell that was for.

"Experiment one failed." She announced, and I slumped back into the wall.

You have to be kidding me. All that pain for nothing?

I didn't have much time to sit there feeling sorry for myself, because she came over to me and tapped me on the shoulder.

When I looked up, she looked scarier than any titan – her eyes glowing with excitement and her teeth gleaming through her wide grin.

"Come on, get up." She said, dragging me back up onto my feet. "That was only experiment one. There's eleven more to go."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Huzzah it's an update! It's decently long too, yay! ^.^**

**(Feedback is really appreciated!)**

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><p>My head spun.<p>

My body felt searing hot, and the limp hand at my side throbbed with each rapid pulse of my heartbeat. I could never get enough air each time I breathed, and I suppressed a cough; cracking my dry, burning throat painfully.

It felt like it's been about a week, but it's probably been way less – I don't know anymore. I can't tell, with me constantly slipping from conscious to unconscious.

My body's stopped listening to me a long time ago, so when Hanji told me again to stand back up, she had to drag me upright and prop me against the wall for me to stay in balance. Her hand felt cold against my skin, almost like ice. Every time she touched me, there was a slight billow of steam followed by a weird sharp hiss.

"Last one for the time being! Then you can go rest a bit." Hanji said happily as she held up another needle filled with more of that clear liquid. She came closer, and I tried to stagger backwards before remembering that the wall was right at my back.

I didn't know what she was doing, but I knew that whatever she was going to put into my body was going to be really bloody painful and I'll have to bite my hand again and suffer the scorching hotness afterwards.

I didn't really want any more of those, to be honest.

She grabbed my arm with one hand, her other hand hovering the needle over the skin. I tried to jerk my arm away, but it didn't work. Of course it didn't. Nothing I ever did seemed to work. I give up.

But when I felt the prick of the needle piercing through my skin, and saw Hanji's thumb resting on the syringe, about to push the hideous liquid into my body, I winced and pulled away with all the remaining strength I had. I lost my balance and fell awkwardly onto the stone ground, clutching my arm.

Hanji's face, darkened with shadows around her eyes and her brown orbs wide and lit up so darkly that I couldn't tell if she was absolutely excited or furious, was the scariest thing I would ever see.

Shuddering under her glare, I tried to shuffle away from the needle and her terrifying looks. I didn't get too far before she grabbed me abruptly under my arms and lifted me up easily, making me face her.

"You know, Eren." She said, her face too close to mine, "I only like good little boys that corporate with my important experiments. And right now, you're not being one, are you?"

I stared up at her, feeling tears pool in my eyes. She pressed me none too gently against the wall and held up the needle again. Tears spilled onto my cheeks as she shoved it into my arm and pushed the liquid into me, and I could feel the cold feel of it spread into my arm.

"..No." I heard myself whimpering as I felt the warmth spread inside me again. I slid down onto the ground, clutching my knees closer to me.

"Hurry up. Bite your hand, and then you're done." Hanji ordered, and I did as I was told. My hand was littered with bite marks now, and just putting it in my mouth was painful enough.

The searing hotness spread through me like wildfire, and the blood dripping down my hand and onto the ground seemed cold compared to the flame burning inside of me.

-x-

I was pretty much sobbing when she was finished with me. Even when she left the room, I stayed there, on the floor, for a good hour – just crying into my knees like a helpless, weak child. Which I essentially was now, I guess.

The effects of the sixth experiment weren't to Hanji's taste either, but she said she would let me rest for the night. It was miserable, really, feeling the hotness slowly cook my brain into numbness and the tears constantly trickling down my face, refusing to stop.

A strangled sob escaped my throat and I buried my face further into my lap, closing my eyes for a moment before reopening them quickly. The darkness was terrifying. Every time I closed my eyes Hanji's smile flashed, her wide, insane eyes boring deep into me.

Where was Levi?

I've never wanted to see Levi as much as I wanted to see him now, even if it's just for a moment. Just… maybe to tell me that I'm not completely useless. Or maybe just to pat me on the head, or even just to look at me – I didn't care, just _something_.

Deciding that nothing would happen if I just sat here feeling sorry for myself, I pushed myself off the ground and wobbled up, using the wall as support. My body still felt like it was on fire, and my head spun crazily when I tried to take a step towards the door.

Come on body, cooperate god dammit.

Still leaning on the wall, I inched towards the doorway, my breathing getting more and more painful by the second. Determining that I was well enough to go the next few steps to the door alone (and knowing that if I go too slowly my throat wasn't going to last), I pushed off the wall and wobbled forwards on unsteady legs. The first step was as fine as it could be, but by the next few my legs trembled and burnt. I reached my goal though, and crumpled down right at the doorway, clenching my teeth against the pain in my legs and throat and head and basically everywhere else. I probably shouldn't have, though, because the hard, gravelly stone underneath me bit harshly at the skin on my knees, adding to the endless list of current injuries.

Ugh. Just fantastic.

I made myself stagger up again, and this time make it all the way down the hall (achievement right there) until my legs decided to give up on me and gave out on the first step. I slumped down, landing hard on my butt, and stayed there for a little while, waiting for my legs to decide to work again. My body felt like it was getting hotter, which was hopefully just my imagination.

Panting, I grappled onto the railing and pulled myself back up. My eyes kept going in and out of focus as I half stumbled, half tripped down the stairs. By the last few steps of the staircase, I really couldn't care less anymore and just fell down with my eyes squeezed shut, landing in a dazed heap at the base.

It took me a couple moments to open my eyes and then see Hanji standing in front of me, one hand on her hip and the other holding the clipboard she's been frantically scribbling in. It took me another few moments to respond and scramble backwards, staring wide eyed at her shadowed figure.

"Jeez, Eren. I'm not going to do anything." She held her hands up and waved them around a bit. I stayed glued in the awkward position though, and gulped when she came forward a step.

But maybe… she would know where Levi is?

"H-Hanji." I said, but it came out as a hoarse, dry whisper. "Do you know where heichou is?"

She paused a little before lowering her arms and sighing. "He's not here." She shrugged, and I stared at her, waiting for her to say more. "He's checking on the wall. He said something like he was annoyed at you- wait maybe that's not right. Something about… oh, maybe it was that he 'wasn't suited for kids'. I dunno. I wasn't really listening to him."

I rearranged my limbs out of the awkward position and sat there and stared at her as though enough staring would bring out all the answers for me. Why…? Why did Levi leave? What did I do?

Will I see him again?

"W-why?" I gasped out, trying to stand her but failing and sprawling back to the ground. "Where… can I see him-"

"Oh, by the way!" She cheerfully cut me off, "I have six more experiments waiting for you tomorrow, so you know, cheer up! It'll be fun! And also, there's some bread left in the kitchen if you're hungry! Okay, good night!"

She skipped away without turning back, and I was left staring after her aura of radiant happiness trailing behind her.

No. _No_.

My heart pounded in my ears and my head, thudding so loud that it almost sounded like a horse was repeatedly stamping on my head. I am _not_ going through another one of those experiments, let alone six. I wouldn't be able to go through another set of her sparkling eyes filled with insanity and her grin. Really, I didn't want to see her again. Ever.

Wincing as my legs complained, I pulled myself up again. The world spun dizzyingly as I stumbled down the remaining steps and staggered through to the table, where I leaned on momentarily to catch my breaths.

I could see the door, I could _see_ it. If I go through it, then I'd be free, right? I'd be free from Hanji's experiments and the chains on my bed and everything. Maybe I can go back to my mum. Maybe Armin was there too.

And maybe Levi, too.

I leave the support of the table and make myself stagger all the way to the door, and I leaned against the comforting wood, trying to turn the key already in the lock with trembling, sweaty hands.

It turned with a click, and I fell right through, landing on the cold stone ground outside.

The door shut tightly behind me, and I heard it lock back. The world was dark, and empty, and the cold reached me even through my searing hot mind.

I was alone.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I'm sorry for being a lazy bum and not updating. I tend to do that a lot. **

**This chapter could potentially be triggering (I dunno though I don't find too much things triggering BUT YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S TRIGGERING TO OTHERS SO I THOUGHT I WOULD MENTION IT). If you get triggered by child abuse, then goo go go go watch the daily lives of high school boys to cheer yourselves up it's great.**

**This one's a pretty long chapter actually (more than 2k hell ****yeah), and hopefully it will make up for my lateness and also for the fact that I won't be updating this for a while due to school starting soon. **

**Anyway, thanks for all your lovely reviews! Big hugs to applefanfic and The Loved and Unloved for leaving reviews onto every single chapter and therefore spamming my phone with messages ^_^**

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><p>It took a while for my eyes to adjust to the darkness – the moon seemed to be hidden behind the dark clouds above. There was nothing but an open field in front of me, and the edges of a forest could be seen beyond. I shivered as the freezing wind swept over me, cooling down my burning body rapidly.<p>

Deciding that right in front of the front door was a pretty easy place to be found, I pushed myself back up off the ground and walked a few steps forwards into the open area, the grass tickling at my ankles. My legs felt surprisingly steadier than before and I continued forward with a bit more speed, looking around me to see if there was anywhere to hide and be protected from that brisk wind that sent a shiver through my body every time it swept by.

I felt frighteningly small compared to the trees when I finally got to the edge of the forest, and found out that the trees that looked small-ish from afar was actually gigantic and towered nearly to the height of the castle itself. Peering into the depth of the forest, I saw nothing but the dark shadows cast from the trees. I took a step in, feeling hard dirt under me now. It felt eerie; like I was being swallowed up by the shadows that stretched far beyond my sight. The wind whistled through the gaps and rustled the trees, and I fought the impulse to run away and leave it all far behind.

I gulp and went further into the darkness, checking behind me and realizing that the hard packed ground was free of my footprints. All I could hear was the gently rustling of the trees as the cold wind blew around them. I stepped carefully in between the huge roots bulging out of the ground in some places, with some so huge that I had to use me hands and climb over them. I realized that the bite-marks on my palm had began bleeding again when I started leaving bloody marks on the tree roots every time I climbed over. I did my best to rub them off at first, but then I just couldn't be bothered and left them there. It wasn't like anyone was going to try and find me – Hanji could just easily find another random kid somewhere to do all those messed up experiments on. Whatever those were.

I sighed and looked up at the barely visible sky, tripping to the ground as a result. The moon had slipped passed the clouds now, and washed the world in its dim light. Crawling on all fours, I waddled clumsily over to a tree and sat down against it, brushing the dirt off my hands. The night air had cooled steadily around me, and I figured I should probably find some sort of building if I didn't want to freeze to death.

The problem is, I realized, that this was pretty much the middle of nowhere and there were no buildings.

Mmm. This didn't look good.

I scrambled back up and quickened my pace, my breaths coming out in white puffs in front of me. The moon had hidden behind a cloud again, rendering me pretty much blind in this dark forest. I stuck an arm out and brushed past the trees with my fingertips, trying not to trip at the same time as trying not to smash into trees. About an hour of that passed before the moon came back, and I found myself even more in the middle of nowhere.

Was there really nothing around here?

I looked around me in the scarce moonlight. Okay, there really was nothing but trees. I made a mistake to go into the forest.

But there was no other option, I guess.

I breathed out another puff of white air and plodded forwards, still weary of the twisted roots by my feet. I didn't want to admit it, but I was tired. Sleepy too. Maybe I should just sit down and sleep by one of those trees.

I would have done just that plonked myself down right then and there if it weren't so bloody cold out here.

Defeated, I slouch and keep going, yawning. Jeez, I needed to sleep. I rub my eyes and immediately smoosh right into a tree.

Ouch.

Rubbing my sore nose, I stumble along for a bit longer till I've finally had enough of everything and sit down onto the ground, leaning back against a tree. I was just about to huddle to myself against the freezing wind when I saw it.

A blot.

A blot in the distance. Which meant A BUILDING.

Hopefully.

I immediately hop up and go in the direction of the building. My body felt sore and tired, and by the time I finally reached after roughly twenty-six trips, I was panting and pretty much ready to drop down and sleep.

It seemed to be a wooden, normal little building, and judging from the quietness and the lack of light, I figured that it was probably an empty storeroom of some sort.

Excellent.

I went around to the front and faced the wooden door. Pushing it lightly, I found that it was unlocked and slipped through inside, shutting it behind me so the wind wouldn't get it.

The inside was pretty much bare except for some guns stacked up in one corner and some spare magazines in a bag next to it.

Yep. Definitely abandoned.

I enter the bare room and sit down against the wall on the right of the entrance. My eyes were already drooping, and I hugged my knees closer against the cold, although it was significantly better than it was outside.

Feeling how dry my throat was every time I swallowed, I closed my eyes and almost immediately slipped into oblivion.

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><p>The sounds of laughter. Boots clacking on dirt.<p>

I opened my eyes and squinted. The sunlight streamed in from the window, blinding me.

Was someone coming in?

I quickly scrambled up off the ground and looked around uselessly, seeing if there was anywhere to hide. The room was bare, and unless I could fit myself into the bag of ammunition, there was nothing.

Suddenly, I heard the door opening and swivel around, and found a man staring at me in surprise. I stared back with wide eyes, frozen in place, afraid to make a single movement.

"Oi guys. There's a kid in here." He said over his shoulder and turned back to me and walked into the building, followed by two other guys. The sign of the Military Police were clear on their jackets, and I gulped.

Dammit. It wasn't abandoned?

I'm still frozen there when they came towards me, confidently looking down at me.

"What's your name?" One of them asked suddenly, and I stared blankly at him before muttering my name.

The three of them looked at each other and sniggered before coming forwards.

"So it's true, huh? He's really turned into a kid." The tallest of the three men said, approaching me with a smirk on his face. "We should kill him when we've got the chance."

Huh? Why?

Seeing the malice gleaming in their eyes, I snapped out of my fright and backed away. Who were they? What did they want?

"Hey, monster." A man with a deep voice said, squatting down so he was at eye-level with me. I could feel his foul breath caress my face as I pressed back into the wall.

Monster…?

"Oi, I'm talking to you." The man said and suddenly reached his hand out to slam me back further into the wall by my neck, pushing hard so I coughed and gagged. My fingers scrabbled uselessly against his hand. "Do you know what your kind has done to us?"

My kind?

The man let go abruptly, and my knees refused to hold me up. I crumpled down onto the ground, clutching my throbbing throat and hearing myself panting hoarsely. The third man landed a solid kick into my stomach, grinning sadistically as I gasped and wheezed. Air wouldn't go into my lungs. "You titans fucking killed my entire family." He growled, landing another blow. "You ripped my sister into shreds."

I didn't do anything…!

Whimpering at the pain I tried to crawl away, holding my stomach with one arm. I needed to get out of here, oh god.

Why does everyone keep calling me a titan?

I wasn't a titan. I was_ human._

"Where'd you think you're going?" The tall man yanked me back by the hair to drag me back over, sticking his face right up into mine. "We're gonna kill you slowly and agonizingly, just like how you kill us."

I haven't killed any of you. I haven't killed anyone.

He pushed me back down forcefully so my head smashed into the ground, and for a moment my vision dimmed and flickered, my body numb against the cold stone. It wasn't long till I felt another hard boot stamp onto my stomach, knocking the air out of my lungs. It kept pressing down until I couldn't breathe at all, and my hands came up to grapple pathetically against the hard leather. After a few moments, the weight of the foot lifted off me, but before I had a chance to breathe again it stamped down, over and over into the same place. I felt a painful snap and heard myself cry out, and suddenly I couldn't take in proper breaths in even when the boot stopped its movement and the sound of their cruel laughter mingled with the deafening thumping of my heart in my ears.

Stop it, please…

They kicked me over so I was against the wall and dug their boots in my face. Amidst the pain and the smell of rubber I heard bits and pieces of their conversation. "Take that, monster." I heard, "You like that?"

They kicked me hard in the stomach again, and the pain spasmed through my spine and I coughed blood, vividly red against the grey floor.

Was I going to die here?

I didn't want to die– not when I hadn't seen anything; experienced nothing.

I still haven't seen the blue ocean; haven't felt the salty breeze brush against my face.

I couldn't die now – not yet.

Tears ran warm down my blood stained face, and I heard them cackle. "Aww, look, he's crying!" One of them crooned mockingly, bending down to sneer into my face. He then bought up a fist to strike me hard on the cheek. "You fucking annoy me, you fucked up monster."

"I'm not…" I heard myself whimper pitifully. "I'm not a monster..."

"Ha." He spat, and I felt his hand tug me up by my hair so I was standing again. "So what's this?" He reached for my arm and lifted it up, twisting my wrist upwards so the bite marks were more visible. "Don't you creatures bite your hand to turn into a titan?"

_What?_

I looked at the red, bloody marks on my hand, and then back at the man's pudgy face. "N-no. No..." I shook my head. "This wasn't-… it isn't-"

"Fucking liar." He hissed before smashing the side of my head with his fist, and my vision turned almost completely black as I felt myself hitting the ground, my chest sending spasms of pain up to my brain. When I managed to open my eyes again, a man was holding a knife, its blade gleaming just like the teeth from their wretched grins.

No. I didn't want to die.

I tried to scramble away even as they surrounded me, and the first time the knife comes close to me I used all my strength to bite onto the arm with as much force I could muster.

I knew it was useless.

They grabbed and twisted back my arms and pinned me to the wall, and the man I bit smacked me hard in the side of my head with the handle of the knife. "That fucking hurt, you beast." He spat, and punched me hard in one cheek – so hard that tears immediately started streaming from my eyes.

But they kept to their word – they weren't going to let me die so easily. I screwed my eyes tightly closed when I felt the first piercing pain as the knife dug deep into my arm before dancing through the skin. My struggles and cries were each time met with a blow to the face and a laugh, and eventually I fall silent.

Feeling the knife stop in its painful paths at last, I held back a sob and opened my eyes.

There were letters carved into my arm.

M-O-N-S-T-E-R.

_Stop. _

I bit back a sob as they shoved me to the ground again, their feet on my back. The painful part of my chest was pressed into the ground, and every time they kicked my body shuddered and I painfully coughed up red onto the ground. Some of the blood got onto one of their boots, and they kicked me hard in the head. "Ugh, that's disgusting." They said, scraping it clean on the ground. Every time I tried to breathe pain jolted up my body, and I was left with the world getting dimmer and dimmer, feeling their boots on my numbing body.

Stop. Please.

_Please._

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><p><strong>Someone go give Eren a big hug oh my god how could I have even written this. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. <strong>

**Levi you useless person why aren't you here for your baby boy when he's suffering jeez**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Huzzah! It's a crappy update with no proof-reading whatsoever! I'm so sorry for making you guys wait so long for this, I've been busy on top of being a lazy ass, and I've also had like 5 animes to keep up to. (Zankyou no terror is like my new obsession ahhh)**

**Anyway, it's like 2am here, so... enjoy! (and the fact that probably nothing makes sense plz) I'm off to bed ^.^**

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><p><em>Levi<em>

I heard the thundering of hooves on dirt, and I glanced up before turning my head towards to the side. I watched as Petra and Auruo rode up to where I was, skidding to a stop right in front of me.

A few days had passed peacefully – I should have known it wouldn't end well.

Come on. How could something already go wrong?

"Heichou!" Petra said breathlessly, her face distorted in concern and fear. I sighed and unfolded my arms.

"What-"

"Eren's gone!" She shouted, jumping off her horse. Auruo did the same. "We looked everywhere in the castle and around it but he's not there! What do we do?"

What?

But Hanji should have-

I stared at her for a bit, and sighed again.

"How long has he been gone?"

Petra looked uneasily over at Auruo, and back at me again.

"Um… about three days…"

_Fuck_.

"Have you asked Hanji about this?"

"Yes!" She said frantically. "She just said that he's probably around the place somewhere. She kept saying she was busy."

That shitty-glasses… I knew I shouldn't have trusted her.

But why would Eren escape? He never tried to as far as I knew, at least.

Even though Eren couldn't have gotten very far with those tiny kid legs of his, I knew that if I left it to them and Hanji the Military Police are bound to find out that he's escaped and freak out and probably start shooting every lost child they find.

"Petra, Auruo." I said, and they straightened up in attention. "You two can take over my position for now. Nothing's happened here, so it'll be fine."

The two gave a fine salute and walked off to tie their horses to the trees.

I watched them go for a moment longer before turning on my heel and walking to where my horse waited. It would probably take a couple of hours at least to get back to the castle, and then probably a bit more time to actually find the brat.

I hoped he hadn't gotten himself into trouble yet.

_Eren_

I woke up, and found them sneering down at me from above, again. I've slipped from consciousness to darkness countless times, but they were there every time I opened my eyes.

"How was your little nap, monster?" They asked me, but even if I wanted to answer them my throat was too dry for me to speak properly. They did give me some water though – they poured some onto the ground and laughed while I tried to lap it up. They said that it wasn't fun unless they could hear me suffering.

"You gonna answer?" They growled as they kicked me in the side from where they sat, leaning against the wall. The kick was heavy, and I clutched at the spot, feeling new bruises join older ones. "Oh wait, monsters can't talk!" One snorted, stuffing his mouth with bread.

I closed my eyes again, hoping they might be fooled into thinking I was unconscious again and wait till I wake up. They wanted to make me feel the most pain anyway – they wouldn't kill me if I couldn't feel it.

But apparently, they weren't _that_ dumb. "The fuck are you doing, ignoring us? You think you're so much more superior?" A snarl came and I felt fingers gripping onto my hair, lifting me upright, and I cry out hoarsely. My head pounded with every beat of my heart, and every tiny touch to it felt like a dull knife trying to drill itself into my brain.

Somehow sitting upright now, I clutched my pounding head, wishing for the pain to go away. I could hear the laughter of the Military Police, strangely close but strangely far away.

"Hey, hey." One said, and I lifted my eyes off the ground and to their faces. "You're looking a bit worn-out there, want some food?" He dangled a piece of bread right in front of my face.

I caught a wiff of its scent, and my dry mouth immediately watered.

Food.

My eyes widened and I immediately reached for it without thinking. I was rewarded with a heavy blow to my painfully empty stomach, and I felt warmth bubbling up to my throat before coughing out blood again. "He fell for it!" The man howled with laughter, and I vaguely wondered through the pain what was so funny. "You thought I was actually going to give you some of our precious food? To a _monster_? Huh?" He nudged my face with his foot, and I'm not even allowed time to flinch before he kicked me. "What an _idiot_."

Apparently there was blood running down the side of my face because his boots came away from my face with red liquid dripping off it. His face twisted into disgust, and he flung his foot towards me. "Get that revolting thing off me, you fucked up beast." He growled, and he glared me down until I managed to struggle onto my elbows and wipe my own blood off his boots with my sleeve. Another man's foot stabbed me in the side with his heel.

"Don't you have any manners?" He sneered, "Didn't your _mummy_ teach you what to say when you're rude to someone?"

I stare blankly at the ground, watching the blood from my head drip steadily onto the ground.

"…sorry…" I whispered as I continue scrubbing at the blood. It was my blood after all. The blood of a monster.

I could already feel my arms trembling from holding my body upright.

"What was that?"

"I-I'm sorry." I said as loud as I could, which only came out as a hoarse, pained whimper.

_Just please, please don't kill me. _

_Levi_

Three hours.

Three hours at full speed, three hours of urging my horse to go faster, and I'm finally at the entrance to the castle – my horse looked exhausted, and plodded off to the stables as I jumped off. I wondered if I should talk to shitty-glasses first, and ask her why the fuck she didn't do as she was told and look after that brat.

I pushed the door open and marched upstairs to where her office was. I couldn't help noticing how unkempt the place was - cupboards and doors were left wide open and dust and dirt had settled onto every available surface.

I guess everyone was trying to find that brat for the last few days. When I find him, I really needed to teach him a lesson too.

I reached her office and push the door open, not caring to knock. I found her, carefully pouring some clear liquid into more clear liquid, her brows furrowed in concentration.

"Oi. You fucking shitty-glasses."

She didn't even glance at me before she had carefully emptied the tube into the glass container and had placed both back into their respective holders.

"Oh, Levi! You're back early?" She said, taking her gloves off casually.

I breathe out slowly to keep myself controlled. Didn't she fucking realise why I was here?

"Where is he?"

She looked at me innocently. "Who? You mean Eren?"

"Who fucking else?" I gritted my teeth, trying to keep my annoyance at bay.

"Yeah, well. I really don't know why, but he ran away-"

"Why weren't you fucking watching over him?"

"I was busy with my experiments! He's old enough to know not to run off into nowhere – he's probably just around the castle somewhere."

I glared at her for a minute, and make myself breathe out. I knew there was no use in fighting with her now. "If something's happened to him, shitty-glasses, I swear to god-"

"Yes, yes." She brushed it off, putting her gloves back on.

Pissed to the bone, I turned around and slammed the door shut behind me.

I go back downstairs and walk out of the door, not bothering to look around in the castle. If he were in here, he would have come out when Petra and the rest of them were calling for him.

As soon as I came out, my horse came trotting back to me, looking at me expectantly. She really was a trustworthy horse.

I hopped into the saddle and got her going to the forest. There wasn't really anywhere else he could have gone.

But the forest was a fucking massive one, and I was lost about which route he could have taken. I surveyed the row of gigantic trees and was about to randomly go in when I saw it.

A bloody mark.

I stared at it for a second before going up to it and bending down on my saddle to look at it closer. It had almost dried up to the colour of the tree, but it was obviously the fingers of a kid.

Hmmm Hanji, better ask you where this blood's coming from, hey? I thought the order was that if she hurts him, I kill her.

Setting the thought aside (for now), I press forwards into the forest, the light immediately darkening around me. There was a rustling in the leaves high above me as a breeze blew through the trees, and I order her to go faster.

A few minutes of steady trotting later, we come up to a fallen tree blocking the path. She easily jumped over it, but I glimpsed blood marks staining the bark in several spots.

I make her go faster, fear slowly and steadily rising up inside me. Every few minutes or so, there would be a smudges of dried blood or a couple of little footprints tracked in the now dry dirt. I make her go faster and faster until the marks suddenly stop, and I pulled on the reins.

I looked around for a bit, and when that failed I hopped off her and tied the rope to a nearby tree before walking around, looking for any signs that a kid could have travelled in that direction.

The first thing I found was a cluster of faded but bloody handprints on the ground. He obviously sat down for a bit, but he wasn't there now.

I did another 360 before I saw it – the building, way off in the distance. It was probably another storage building for the Military Police – I never knew they had one so far out.

Suddenly noticing that there were faded footprints bee- lining for the building, I quickly followed it, my boots making soft thuds as it came to contact with the hard-packed dirt. I was probably about half way there when I first heard it.

Laughter.

So there were people in there? Maybe Eren wasn't in here after all-

I stopped dead in my tracks. My blood turned cold.

It was distant and vague, but I heard it.

A gunshot, and a strangled cry.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I found a thousand and three errors that made me ashamed of myself and my entire existence, so I ACTUALLY FIXED THEM YAYAYAYY are you guys proud of me**

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><p>Fuck. <em>Fuck<em>.

Don't you fucking die, Eren, don't you dare. Don't you _dare_.

I was at the door before I realised I had moved at all. It did almost nothing to filter out the sound coming from inside, and I pushed the door open to the sound of begging, dread filling me up as I expected to see the worst.

No. Reality was worse. So much, _so_ much worse than my expectations.

The first thing I saw was red. Red everywhere. On the concrete ground, smudged on the wall, drenched on a boy's sleeve. Pumping out from a wound on his thigh.

Three men stood around the boy, and they were way too busy taunting him than to notice me. My hand automatically reached for my blades, the handles cool and smooth to the touch.

"You lot seem to be enjoying yourselves." I said quietly, trying my best to hide the fury I was feeling inside. Fuck them. FUCK THEM. I felt like slowly grinding their limbs into powder, one by one.

The three men turned around in surprise, and they stared at me for a moment with mouths shaped like an 'o' before one smirked.

"Who's this shorty?" He sneered, right before the man next to him nudged him in the side to keep him quiet; right before I stalked right up to him and shoved my blade right up into his face, not even a millimeter away from his nose.

I really didn't need this shit right now.

"Get your filthy feet off him, fucktards." I growled, and glared at them as they did as I said. I wanted to kill them as fucking agonizingly as possible. Right now.

"Corporal Levi…-"

"Is it fucking fun?" I asked them quietly, cutting the man off. "Fun to torture a helpless kid?"

The men went silent. They don't even deserve to be called soldiers, fuck. They were barely human beings – they were trash, useless rubbish – a sorry excuse of a man.

What the fuck should I do?

I knew I couldn't kill these sorry asses – fuck, for some reason the Military Police were supposed to be more fucking 'important' than us even though all they do is get drunk and terrorize people all day long.

But I didn't want to just let them go, they deserved at least someth-

Suddenly a man let out a howl and sprung at me, a bloodied knife clutched in one hand.

Who's fucking blood is that, you fuckhead?

I dodged out of the way easily and landed a solid kick into his stomach, and he spluttered before crumpling down.

Fucking weaklings. If Eren weren't a kid but his normal self he would have beaten them up in three minutes tops.

I looked at the other two, who both looked frightened and angry at the same time. I looked down at their hands. One was holding a shiny, black gun.

I held out my hand expectantly. "Give me the gun." I ordered, and when he just stared back, I widened my eyes. "Now." I said in a near whisper, and the man placed the gun into my hand with trembling fingers.

Turning the gun around in my hands, my eyes slid to where Eren lay. He faced away from me, but the side of his face was caked with dry blood. I looked further, and the bloody wound on his thigh caught my eye.

"Oi." I said, turning back to the man. "Did you shoot him?"

He stared into my eyes before opening his mouth slightly and whispering a no.

"Then who did?" I looked around at all three of them, and then raised the gun. "Oh? I guess I'll be shooting all of you-"

"H-he did!" One said, pointing at another one. The one on the ground nodded almost violently.

"What? I-I didn't, I really didn't, fuck you two-"

I aimed randomly and pulled the trigger. A deafening bang was followed almost immediately by a yell, and the man fell backwards, a burning, bleeding hole on his thigh.

Serves you fucking right.

"Be grateful that wasn't your head." I said, and pointed the gun to the other man's head. The one I had knocked over before had stood back up and joined the rest of them.

"And unless any of you would _want _a hole knocked into your ugly, empty heads, leave."

I watched as they hurriedly dragged the fallen one up and hobbled out of the building – I sent them off with my eyes, wishing that I could shoot them all dead.

As soon as they were out of sight, I went over to where Eren was lying. He was still conscious – his eyes barely open.

I quickly knelt down next to him, realizing how much blood was stained around his mouth and down his chin.

"Eren." I said softly, trying not to scare him as much as possible. "Where does it hurt?"

He didn't respond – it almost felt like he hadn't even heard me –except for the slight movement I saw in his eyes.

"Eren?" I said again, and reached over to his bloodied head so I could maybe get it off the hard ground. But the moment I came into contact with him he flinched away, his whole body tensing and trembling visibly.

"Hey, Eren. It's okay. It's me." I told him, and watched his dim green eyes flicker and stare blankly at me, unfocused and dark. "No one's going to hurt you anymore."

Giving up on his head, I turned to the bullet wound on his thigh. It was still bleeding rather copiously – it must have hit an artery.

I pulled the cravat from around my neck and lifted his leg up as gently as I could so I could slip the cloth under and tie it around to stop the blood. Even as I tied the knot, the white cloth was stained almost completely red.

Even though I was afraid he'd panic if I touch him again, I took off my cape and wrapped it around his shivering body before scooping my arms underneath his body and lifting him up. He gave a choked whimper as I stood up, and I looked over at him – gasping for every breath.

I needed Hanji. She would know what to do.

Trying not to make his injuries worse, I cradled him carefully in my arms as I walked swiftly out of the building. It was already dark outside – the night wind was fucking cold and bit right into my bones.

Holding him closer, I set off down the narrow trail again – I could see my horse waiting impatiently behind the line of trees, stamping her foot and shivering.

"W-where…" I heard a small, hoarse voice come from inside the green bundle. I slowed down and peered into his face, obviously struggling for consciousness.

"Eren?"

"Where… are you taking me…?" His voice was almost inaudible over the wind and the rustling of the trees.

"We're going back to the-"

"Please," he suddenly pleaded, cutting me off mid- sentence. "Don't kill me, please…"

"I'm not going to. It's okay." I told him, feeling more and more pissed off at those Military Police men. What the fuck did they do to him to make him like this?

I reached my horse at last and untied her from the tree. Her breath came out in white wisps, and I realized mine did as well.

Placing Eren up on before me, I jumped up into the saddle and gathered him back into my arms.

I got her going on the path back to the castle, the wind blowing us in the entirely opposite direction. It stung my face, and I tried to shield Eren from it as best as I could.

About halfway through, I heard a tiny voice coming from him and slowed the horse down.

"…Corporal..? He asked, looking up at me with dazed orbs and a nervous look on his face. I looked at him and stroked his cheek. So he's finally recognized me.

"Yeah." I reply, and a smile played on his lips.

"It's you, I'm so glad…" He said, and his eyes slid shut.

I frowned. As I remembered it, it was a terrible idea for a person with head injuries to lose consciousness.

"Hey, Eren. Try to stay awake." I said hurriedly and increased the pace to the fastest speed that I could navigate the forest in the dark.

I glanced down at him. His eyes were still closed; his body slumped against my arm.

"No, come on." I said to him, urging my horse to go faster. "Keep your eyes open."

His green orbs reappeared slightly for just a glimmer of a moment before disappearing again.

"…Sorry…" I heard, barely, his bloodied lips hardly moving. "I..'m just… sleepy…"

"No. Oi, Eren!" I was blatantly pleading now, I knew. "Come on, we're nearly there. Don't go to sleep now, please."

_Or you'll never wake up again. _

The trees seemed to loom out of nowhere, and the horse whinnied as she nearly hit a huge trunk. I guided her back onto the path, feeling desperate for the first time in a very long time.

_Please_.

But his eyes still didn't open.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Helloooo! Okay, by now you guys probably hate me for not updating for... months. Many months. I feel really guilty for leaving you hanging, but I've been really busy with school and music and sport and ugh. But it's the end of term now so I'll have more time to write, which is nice! Anyway, this is a really rushed chapter despite how long I took to update (i'm sorryyyyyyy ;A;)**

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><p>First it was just little murmurs, soft and distant. But the voices grew louder and closer, and then so did the pain – it was strong, ripping through my body every time my heart pulsed; every time I took a breath.<p>

I opened my eyes, and found it hard to focus on anything. My vision swam around for a minute before blurring, and I had to physically concentrate before I could see anything clearly.

And what I saw was Hanji's face, only inches from mine.

"Oh, you're awake!" She exclaimed as I stared up at her, "Bad timing, I'm about to put you to sleep."

Put me to sleep?

I had a very bad feeling that that was her way of telling me that she was going to kill me.

She lifted her hand up, and I saw it clearly – a piercingly-sharp object, clear liquid lapping inside its clear container.

A needle.

No, no, no, no, please don't. Please, please don't.

She grabbed my arm, and held up the needle. Fear jolted through me and suddenly I found myself kicking at her, each movement sending pain ripping through my body.

Did it even matter though? I didn't want to repeat all this again.

"Eren, stay still! Your injuries will-"

A shudder ran though me when her hand came close to me again, and I managed, somehow, to scramble up and stagger a few meters on my hands and knees. But my body didn't want to respond at all, and after a few seconds it collapsed under my weight and refused to get back up.

"Eren, you have to be a good boy-"

_"__I only like good little boys that corporate with my important experiments. And right now, you're not being one, are you?"_

I heard a sob escaping from my throat before I pushed with my arms and went tumbling onto the floor. It was concrete, and it was hard – the shock from the impact had me frozen for a few seconds. I whimpered as my chest and lungs decided that it would self- destruct, and I coughed up some red onto the ground, struggling to breathe.

"I got the water-" I heard a man's voice and the closing of a door, "What the fuck's going on?"

"Can you hold him still?" Hanji's voice came, and I heard footsteps approaching me. I couldn't tell whose they were. Maybe it was the both of them.

I could feel tears streaming down my cheeks, stinging the cuts on my face. They were tears of helplessness and desperation as I staggered back onto trembling limbs and went as further away from the footsteps as possible. I was forced to stop when my back hit the wall behind me. It was always like this, wasn't it – me pressed up against a hard wall, trying so hard to escape from something that couldn't be avoided in the first place.

Why do I even try?

My vision was blurred so much that I couldn't make out who was in front of me, but I could make out that they had squatted in front of me. I stared at them, even though I couldn't see them properly. I couldn't see anything properly, really, and panic spiked inside of me as I saw a blur of a hand moving towards me. I couldn't keep the sobs in any longer – I let them all out as I tried to avoid the hand. Whatever their intent was, it was going to hurt, and I didn't want any more pain – there was enough as it was.

My head was spinning as I tried to shove myself away from the figure in front of me. I ended up tipping back onto the ground with my face buried in my arms, breathing in the metallic scent of my skin. I thought I heard the figure say something but I couldn't hear it over the sound of my sobbing, loud in my ears. I dragged myself away until I couldn't physically go any further, which wasn't far at all. Breathing hurt, my legs dragging behind me hurt, my arms hurt, my head pounded. I gave up and curled into myself, covering my head and begging for all this torture to be over.

The figure said something again, and this time it's hand reached over and held me by the shoulders. I froze under its touch, expecting the pain to come at any minute.

But it never came.

Instead the hands pulled me gently upright, and then reached up to wipe away the tears from my eyes. The hands were gentle, and I relaxed under its touch; leaned into it.

"Can you recognize me?" The man asked, and I looked at him. He looked like a blur at first, but gradually I saw a familiar, stoic face, except now he had on a much softer expression, an almost worried look in his grey-blue eyes.

"…Corporal…?" I whimpered, my voice sounding foreign. I reached up almost subconsciously and grasped onto his hand with both of mine, feeling the warmth of him seep into my skin. He was rubbing my back slowly, and I discovered my ability to breathe slower and did so, ignoring the stab of pain in my chest.

"Have you calmed down?" He asked softly, and I nodded, burying my face into his shoulder. "Can Hanji put the needle in now? It's not going to hurt-"

All of it came flooding back into my mind – the prick of the needle, the fire burning inside of me, the pain as I was forced to bite down onto my own hand, the taste of my blood inside…

I shook my head violently, causing my head to pound even more. "No, no, please." I gasped, tears pooling in my eyes again. If it's corporal, he could stop Hanji from doing that to me, right? "Please don't, corporal, make her stop-"

"Levi? He really needs to be fixed up soon."

Hanji's impatient voice reached me and I recoil, my heart thudding loudly in my ears.

"It won't hurt, alright?" Levi told me, his eyes looking steadily into mine. "I won't let her hurt you."

He brushed the tears from my eyes away before scooping his arms underneath me and lifting me up off the hard ground. He set himself down onto the bed, still holding me close.

"Do it now." I heard him say, and from the corner of my eyes I could see Hanji bending down beside the bed. I felt her take my arm in her hand, and I press my face into Levi's chest – I could feel his hand come up to stroke my back as the needle pierced through my skin. Biting my lip, I tried to settle the panic rising in me, grabbing onto Levi's shirt with my other hand. I gripped onto the thin material as I felt something cool enter me through the needle. I whimper as I anticipated the burning pain that came afterwards, but none came.

Instead, I found that my hand couldn't grip onto Levi's shirt anymore.

My body numbed – I could hardly feel the needle leaving my arm. My eyelids suddenly felt heavy, as heavy as when my mum read stories to me before bed, and I wanted to hear the ending of the story before I fell asleep.

I vaguely noticed that Levi was lifting me up off his lap and settled me gently down onto the bed. All I could see was the ceiling now – growing darker and darker with each blink of my eyes.

Was this what dying felt like?

"You did well." I heard Levi's voice, and then a cool hand was on my forehead, brushing the hair out of my eyes.

I managed to look at him with tired, drooping eyes.

"I don't want to die." I told him, my voice hardly a whisper.

I saw his brows furrow and his lips move, but then my eyes closed and I fell deep, deep down into darkness.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Update! ^.^ Yayyyy! Thank you for all of your reviews - they always encourage me to write more!**

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><p>When I opened my eyes, it was dark. I stood in an empty space – the air was still, silent.<p>

"Finally. Oh god." I heard a voice, and turned around. Someone stood in front of me, and first I could only see their feet but then I gradually slid my eyes up to rest on bright emerald eyes and the hint of a smile on his lips.

When I didn't say anything, he shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. "Uh, hi?"

I stayed silent, still looking at him. He seemed familiar somehow, but I had no idea why.

He gave an exasperated sigh, and crouched down so he was at eye level with me. "Look, we don't have much time." He said, "I've been waiting for you for ages, ugh, it's about time."

What was he talking about? Even though I had no idea what he talking about, I gave a slight nod.

"Okay okay. I just want you to accept everything without asking questions, which I know you will because I was always a nosy kid."

This time I cock my head. What do _I_ have to do with _him_ being a nosy kid?

"Right. So. First off you're my kid self. As in I'm you when you're older. You'll be this person right here in… 9 years? 10 years?"

He pointed towards himself, and I grimaced. I'm going to be _him_ when I grow up? I wanted to be someone like corporal Levi.

"I'm sorry you're so disappointed. Thanks. Anyway." He sighed. "It'd be great if we could swap places by now. I mean, you've been living in my place for _weeks_ now."

I've been living in his place? _I've_ been living in _his_ place? So what's happened to me over the last few weeks was everything that normally happens to him?

"Oh." I said.

"What?"

"So this was all your fault."

His brows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Like Hanji's experiments. And cleaning. And being beaten up for being a monster."

He looked at me uneasily for a second before laughing, his eyes lightening up from deep emerald to light green. "You've met Hanji? Isn't she just great?"

I made a face. "She's scary. She made me bite through my own hand and-"

"I know I know." He waved me off. "But just corporate with her, alright? She's crazy, but she's really smart – she'll know how to put us back. Yeah?"

I looked at him before giving a silent nod. I suddenly realised how tired I was, and sat down onto the ground. From here I looked up at him – his large green eyes, the kind smile tugging on his lips.

And I voiced out the question that had been lingering in my mind the entire time.

"Why do they call you a monster?"

The moment I asked that question, all the light disappeared from his orbs, and his eyes cast down to look at the ground.

"They think I am." He said, his voice so much quieter, more fragile than before. "They think I am, but they're wrong. I'm not a monster. Remember it, please."

He shifted his gaze from the ground to deep into my eyes. "Remember that you're human."

I was taken back by his sudden seriousness. "I will." I told him.

He stayed silent for a while before giving a small sigh and smiling a little. "Someone must have injured you pretty badly, I'm guessing?" He asked, "You have to be pretty close to dying to get here, but I kind of figured you would."

"Um… I guess so. It was the um… Military Police people." I muttered, "I don't think they like you very much…"

"They don't." He stated simply.

"They were saying that… you killed one of their sisters or something, and that they should kill me while they had the chance."

He didn't say anything as he shuffled from a crouching position to sitting on the ground in front of me.

Suddenly, he reached towards me and gathered me up close to his warmth.

"I'm sorry." He said gently, rocking back and forth. "You don't deserve any of this, I'm sorry."

Not really knowing what to say, I wrap my arms around his neck, enjoying the feeling of his warmth seeping into my chilled skin. "You don't deserve it either-"

"The thing is, I do." He said, a jumbled mixture of bitterness and guilt in his words. "I- I've done too much wrong. I didn't do things I should have. Don't worry, you'll hate me soon enough. I- I let someone close to you die, Eren. I watched them die. I didn't do anything about it." His voice cracked. "Nothing."

For a few moments there was silence except the sound of out breaths, and the feel of his heartbeat against me.

"I don't hate you." I said, and when he looked at me in surprise I smiled at him. "You haven't done anything wrong."

When tears began spilling from his eyes and trickling down his cheeks, I realised how much pain he dealt with everyday. This was me. The person crying in front of me, the person who thinks he deserves the pain he receives-

Was me.

I wondered how he dealt with it- with everyone calling him a monster, and saying he wasn't human, trying to kill him.

All I could really say was that he was strong. Not as strong as Corporal Levi, probably - but he was strong enough.

I was glad for that.

After his silent crying stopped, he released his hold on me and stood up. "You have to go now, I think." He said uncertainly, cocking his head. "You're becoming translucent, so it means you have to go, right? Anyway." He ruffled my hair, smiling again. "Please don't die."

I looked up, and smiled back. "I'll try."

The empty world around us was fading away, but I caught a glimpse of his grin, bright and warm as day.

_"__You better."_


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Updateeeeeee is late sorry I wrote this and forgot about it hahaahah -sweats-**

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><p>I didn't realise I was awake until I felt the coldness of the air on my face and the burning in my body.<p>

There was no pain.

Instead, I felt nothing. It almost felt as though my body had just gone somewhere else and left my conscience behind, but when I told my fingers to move, they did. I told my leg to shift a bit, and it did.

Then I told my eyes to open.

That was harder than I thought – first my eyes refused to even open, and even after I managed to I couldn't open them fully. They felt heavy, swollen, and I looked at nothing before closing them again.

"Awake?" I heard a voice and opened my eyes again. I looked at the ceiling above me before turning my head a bit to see a man leaning this way, his eyes screaming worry.

I tried to say his name but no sound came out of my mouth. So I smile at him instead.

It was the only thing I could do.

_You don't need to worry about me_.

"Sorry, Eren." Levi started, reaching over to push the hair sticking to my forehead out of my face. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I shouldn't have left you."

I finally found my voice. "…Don't be." I said, my voice probably too quiet and too hoarse to be heard properly. "I'm fine. You didn't do anything wrong."

Just speaking for a few seconds left me breathless, and I wondered if I should just go back to sleep. I could swear the pain was coming back, bit by bit, cell by cell.

"You're not fucking fine." Levi said before pushing me up a bit and wrapping his arms around me. "I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry…" I heard him repeating over and over. I could feel him burying his face in my shoulder, and for a second I almost thought that he was crying. I gripped onto his back as best as I could, leaning my head against his.

It was the safest I had felt in a while.

But then the door flew open, and a smiling Hanji entered the room, and my heart stopped for a second before it tripled its speed. "You're awake!" She exclaimed, dumping down a box onto the ground. "I need to have a look at you."

"Fuck off, four eyes." I heard Levi growl, but Hanji just started taking things out of the box. Bandages, tubes of something, needles-

Needles.

My breath caught in my throat, and I bit down on my lip. It's fine. Everything was fine. My future self said it was fine, remember?

_'__Just corporate with her, alright? She's crazy, but she's really smart – she'll know how to put us back. Yeah?'_

Yeah. Everything was fine.

I felt Levi's arms disappearing from around me and watched as he stood up off the bed.

Was he leaving?

I could feel myself trembling, even though I felt dizzy with heat. I didn't want him to leave. I didn't want to be with Hanji alone again. What was she going to do this time?

No. Anything she did was fine.

My lungs felt like they had shrunk to the size of a pea, and I could only take tiny shallow breaths. I gripped onto the blanket, biting the inside of my cheek. I didn't even know why panic was rising up inside me anymore. Everything was fine, right? Absolutely fine. Fine. FINE._ FINE_.

Why did I expect Levi to help me out with everything anyway? This was why he left in the first place. Because I was annoying. Because I pester him with everything.

And if I annoy him even more, this time he'll leave and never come back.

"Eren?" A voice came, and I looked up. Levi was standing by the bed, his brows furrowed. Probably with annoyance.

"What's wrong?"

I looked at him in confusion. "Nothing." I said, just as I felt drops of water fall onto my hands and realised that silent tears were streaming down my face. "Sorry. Nothing's wrong." I muttered, wiping them away hastily.

Can I do anything without being a pain?

"I fucking _knew_ something happened." Levi muttered, and turned around. "Hanji. Leave for now."

She looked up from her task. "Huh? Why?"

"Just _leave_." Corporal almost shoved her out of the door, and I hear her last 'fine fine I get it' before the door slammed shut.

"Eren, what did she do while I was away?" He asked, sitting back down on the edge of the bed. "I thought last time it was because of those fucking military police, but it's her, isn't it."

I couldn't meet his eyes. "Nothing. It's nothing." I said, feeling his stare bore into me.

"You keep fucking saying nothing wrong." He shouted, and I look up in surprise. I've never heard him shout. "Why? I know something's wrong, fucking tell me!"

I bit my lip, but my tears just came faster. "…Nothing-"

This time he grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard enough for my neck to hurt. "Brat." He growled. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Just answer my question!"

"Because- because I don't want to annoy you!" I shouted back at him, choking down my tears. "I don't want you to leave again! I know you don't like me. I just-" My throat felt raw and dry and I coughed, watching bits of blood fall into my hand.

_I just want you to stay_.

"Eren- ...fuck." Levi's voice was quiet as he let go of my shoulders to lift me up into his lap. "Who told you that I was annoyed?"

I gripped onto his shirt with both hands, scared that he'll leave. "…Hanji."

"What else did she do?"

"She did… normal things. I just wasn't prepared-"

"What did she do?" His voice was calm but stern, commanding.

"Um." I lifted up my left sleeve to stare at the white bandage there. "She injected things into me and made me bite through my hand a few times."

"Show me." I looked up at him. "Show me your hand."

Confused, I held up my left hand to him and he took it before undoing the bandages. I didn't really want to see anything so I cast my gaze down to a little bug crawling on the ground.

He was silent as he looked at the bloody bitemarks littering my hand, and stayed silent even as he did up the bandage again.

"You want to sleep right?" He asked, and I nodded, my eyes bleary. He helped me slide back under the blankets again, his hand coming up to ruffle my hair softly.

"Sleep." He told me, "You won't have to see Hanji anytime soon, don't worry."


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Hey! You must hate me by now - I'm sorry for not updating! School was busy and music was busy and my multi-shipping soul was also busy. I got a bit too into eruri and jeanere for a while ahh but I'm back! (σ≧▽≦)σ

Thank you to all that left a review! y'all are angels

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><p><em>Levi<em>

"We need to give him some fever medication, he's going to get a fever really soon you know-"

"Shitty-glasses." I cut her off, physically forcing myself to close the door softly rather than slamming it shut. "First of all, what the actual fuck?"

"Oh god." She rolled her eyes, taking her glasses off and rubbing her face tiredly. "What did I do now?"

"You know what you fucking did." I clenched my teeth together and leaned back against the doorframe. "You tortured that kid. Did you see what you made him do to his hand? Did you bother to think for even a moment that he's just a kid? Did you-"

"Levi." Her eyes weren't so bright anymore. "I know he's suffering. But you know what? He's just going to keep on suffering if we keep him here. He needs to go back. And you know what else? The only way we can get him back is by making him go into titan form so that our Eren might come back. And to do that we need to figure out what the injection is. But I have no idea. Maybe our Eren is gone forever. This has never happened before so how am I even supposed to know what's going on?" She paused, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Fuck this whole thing."

I stared at her, and let out a breath. "Right. Fine. But after you had your way with him, why would you just leave him there alone? He would have been traumatised. Of course he would run away. Didn't I tell you to watch over him?"

"He looked like he needed some alone time? I don't know?" She mumbled. "I'm so bad with kids. And he was crying and everything I had no idea what to do. He wouldn't let me touch him afterwards so I couldn't patch up anything either. And anyway," she continued as I frowned, "It doesn't really matter how much he gets hurt because he'll be healed once he turns into a titan-"

Something flashed inside me, and the next moment I found myself throwing a fist and felt it connect with a satisfying sound. I heard her glasses sliding across the ground as she hit the concrete, rubbing the side of her face.

"What the fuck was that for-"

"Leave." I said, unclenching my fist. I remembered seeing Eren struggling for breath, sweat trickling down his face. Hanji's voice echoed over and over in my mind.

_"__Anyway, it doesn't really matter how much he gets hurt"_

"Levi-"

"_LEAVE_." I shouted, and she sighed and got up from the ground.

"Okay, okay, just make sure to change his bandages and give him pain and fever medication. I don't need him dying."

I stay silent as I listened to her footsteps gradually dying away before sitting down next to the tray she had left behind. I rubbed my face in my hands, trying to calm the temper in me that was screaming that I should kill her.

I stayed there for a while till the sound of wet coughing jerked me out of my trance. I carefully picked up the tray, and went back inside. Dumping the tray down onto the ground next to the bed, I look up to find Eren in a fetal position, facing towards the wall. His breaths sounded harsh, labored.

I kept remembering the words she had said, and I clench my fist.

_"__Anyway, it doesn't really matter how much he gets hurt."_

Fuck her. Fuck everything. He didn't deserve any of this.

There was a whimper and a subtle movement under the blanket before his head peeked out from underneath the sheets. I pet his hair for a bit, feeling the heat radiating from his scalp.

"Eren."

His eyes opened at his name, and looked at me blearily.

"You feeling okay? Can you drink some water?"

I receive a slight nod before I slid my arm behind him and lifted him upright. I realised that the drug Hanji gave him was probably still working – he didn't seem to be able to control his body much, and his head kept lolling back. I shuffled the pillow a bit so he could lean back onto it, and he did – breathing heavily as though he had just run a marathon.

Reaching over to retrieve the bottle of water from the tray, I bought it over to his lips. They didn't respond at first, but then he started drinking desperately, downing the half the bottle before I made him stop. He looked at me almost accusingly.

I nearly chuckled. "Later." I said to his pouting face.

He dozed off as soon as I finished changing his bandages.


End file.
